The Epiphany: Fire
I woke up that next morning and it wouldn't stop. This spinning went on for days, weeks, even to the point that it became nauseating! I begged for God to just let me reject this physically and literally. It was hindering my work, my daily life, and causing myself absurd clumsiness. I had a staggering feeling about this new symptom. When would it stop? But, Lord, what is it, can you please take this cup from me?
After several weeks of this, the spinning just stopped. It was still lingering, all around me and at times I could hear a faint cry of what apparently was destiny whispering my name to the heavens. It was like being caught in the eye of a storm.. you see the twister, you know it's power, and you also know its unpredictability!
Where will 'she' tear through and what damage will 'she' have left behind? Where will I land? What about my past storms in my life and how do they affect my survival now? "When, O' Lord, will everything be clear? I am looking and listening, I see and I hear, but I can't make sense out of it," I cry out to the heavens.
What are all these words and how do I make sense of them? Mercury, Gravity, Time, and Freewill and they are all screaming riddles at me!
I hear Mercury's inquisition, "Do I really affect anything you do?
Gravity and his slogan to 'join me in the clouds and dream a while versus staying grounded and disciplined.'
Father Time and his trio consisting of Past, Present, and Future and how they do and do not matter to one another.
Freewill and her power over the whole human race, of which most believe you actually control her in all areas of your life.
As the day went on, Blindness and Navigation appeared as clues to what the words I heard in my head meant. In the words of a dear friend, RIP, "You can't see the forest for the trees!" Looking up from the echo, I chuckle and smirk, "Not Funny," right back to the echo! As I look up, I can faintly hear him and God laughing at me! Then I heard my grandpa yell back, as he always did over nonsense, "Yun's is all going to hell!" I laughed out loud, alone.
I began to pray, "Father above, I am amused at your wit and skill, as always. But, from experience I know they come with a price. Without fail, you guide me, always. So, speaking of guiding, where exactly am I right now? Please, I need more clues!"
Later that evening, I go home, kick my shoes off, prop up my feet and do what grandma always said to do when I get lost, grab my guidebook. I open right up to Jeremiah 33:3 call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things that you do not know. "That's exactly what I'm asking, what are these feelings, these voices, and these words in which I do not understand?" I cry out to the ceiling, clutching my Bible in desperation while sinking back into my couch. I am so numb and dumbfounded.
..I turn the page randomly to Proverbs 16:9 In his heart a man determines his course, but the Lord determines his steps.
...again, Proverbs 19:21 We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God's purpose prevails.
... Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.
...Psalms 37:4 Delight thyself in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart.
I walk away and breathe it in with a glass of ice water and thoughts of my grandma while staring out of my kitchen window into the great yonder. Then suddenly, it hits me..