The only thing to fear is a fear itself. For this is the key ingredient in knowing what is worthy of investment.
I had finally perfected it, well almost, it needed to be trialed. A well devised non-relationship plan. I have worked on this for two years and now it is complete. I separated three years ago from Aoife's dad and promised her that she would never live in a home setting of such. Just a simple well-lain plan for a friendship while my daughter is with her dad, but a meaningful friendship, valuable, with quality.
See the type of marriage I was bound in kept me in and shut away from civilization. I was like the kid crawling out of the cellar at thirty-four years old after not seeing the light of day for a decade. I wondered how I could have allowed myself such bad judgment in life to hold me there, but we all do it. We just don't like to admit our faults and seek to understand why others do such things. I accepted it and never made a plan b until now.
We will get to plan b later, let's get on to the part where I decided to call Mr. Goodbar, Ughm... Michael. The one who almost got away because I shrugged him off and almost didn't get his card in the store on the corner, the night our energies recognized forces; his more so than mine. I remember the persistence in him assuring that I really wanted his number. I also don't recall swapping names or shaking hands. The first time he spoke my name to me was on the phone, but I swear I don't recall giving him my name. Maybe when he flustered me by assuming I was someone else, I suppose I wouldn't retain that as much as the exit I was seeking! However, God's timing never fails us. He is never too early nor fashionably late. When I called him on Sunday evening invited me to dinner at his place on Tuesday evening. I accepted the invitation for salmon, salad, and a roll with a glass of pinot grigio.
The persistence of these two creatures, Michael and God that is, along with my perseverance and a dinner date has given me the knowledge I now possess of this abstract creature. Sometimes he stands as tall as the mountains, and the sun shines from his face. I would almost believe that nature loathes him and his passionate devotion like a tree whose roots are so deep, they are permanently there and any attempt of removal would only leave a gaping hole. He is an original, not a maple or an oak, unusual in a novel way. Like Jim Henson's creations, yet reasonable, rational and consistent. He has this burning energy and man is it on fire, like a sleeping volcano who may just blow ash or go all out with lava and fire. He runs out of natural dopamine before repletion at times, one would assume he doesn't really see why but only what has happened! He knows this and compensates for the rest in a large period of time, a hibernation of sorts.
Notional he is, logical and not lazily waltzing through life. He, like the sun and moon, have a purpose. He has a dream and a plan to go with it. He is a what if, speculative guy, convoluted, but yet stated. Just as the stars and planets, he will definitely let his gung-ho be known should a frustration block the path ahead.
He will detour all routes to avoid any and all unnecessariness. He is a Christopher Columbus of the universe. He doesn't dare see a limit to where he can go. An admirable feature to line the soul wrapped in this smooth, suave, young spirited fountain of youth; sometimes washing over you as a waterfall would and others just as the sprinkling of a spring shower. He is as donning as they come and the name he bears adds to the sexiness he promotes.
Funny, how you pick up on things that affect you in your life, like the sensory-seeking child I have who allows me to understand his need in life for stimulation as an adult. It awakens the sleeping child inside that longs to be free within himself.
He plays and explores and tells of this majestic journey he has been on, of recent or in past times. The impulsiveness he possesses, one would assume requires a lot of self-discipline. Which, he seems to carry well as he is flexible, cooperative, and adaptable, much like the cacti. His ingenuousness is inventive and it shows through his everyday life. Michael is a definition of beautiful, Alice thought on her ride home.
When Alice returned home for the evening to relieve Aoife's nurse she decided with all her excitement she would wind down by writing the next short story for her book.