On Embracing My Own Vulnerabilities
(The image: Vulnerability without "R" because he's currently feeling so vulnerable so he's busy embracing it.)
I'm the one who really loves to accept the vulnerabilities, I love when people told me about their stories, their flaws, their weakness, and their vulnerabilities, so I know that they're more than what I used to see.
Yet I just realized, I'm still not accepting my own vulnerabilities. Some of my friends told me that I have a high self-knowledge, I always can stand on my own feet. They're right, yet somehow I know that my friends never see myself as vulnerable as them.
The only reason is because I rarely tell them. I'm so secretive. I wanted to help people yet I never let anyone help me. I hate when I caught myself being so dependent. I always stay away from people when I feel myself being so weak, grab a pen and a paper, then write my plans. Most of the times, I'll write "Things I Can't Control" and "Things I Can Control", then I focusing myself on "Actionable Steps". I always have a plan when things go hard.
Several weeks ago I asked my friends to meet me
"I think I have a mental breakdown....." I said.
So the day after, we met,
Then he asked me "So what you want to tell me? You said that you're having a mental breakdown."
I replied "No, I already have a plan. I know what I should do. I just have to focus on the things I can control."
It's like everything's fine....
but there's something that I now realized. There's the thing I always missed. After all this time I never let myself really sad, really vulnerable. I know that writing your problems, then writing actionable steps is a good thing, but I never let myself embrace my weakness, embrace that I'm currently feeling down. People always said that it is a bad emotion, yet now I realized that there's no such thing as bad emotion.
I love when people told me about their vulnerabilities, yet I always hide my own vulnerabilities, even from myself. I hate to say this, but I think this is the time when I have to focus on my own emotions, embracing all the feelings.
I still have plans, some actionable steps, yet now I keep it for later. I can stand on my own feet, yet I embrace when people help me.
I'm embracing my own vulnerabilities.
#Vulnerability #Gifs #Gif #Illustration #Writing
@elloillustrations @ellogifs @ellowrites
P.S I don't know, but my friends told me that it has something to do with my zodiac sign, which is Scorpio.
P.S.S Yes, I'm an ENFJ. I even took the test once again, just several hours ago. Only to find the same result.