Letter To The Future Dear Self,
Pat yourself on the back, You made it this far.
Where has the time gone? The future feels like I’m walking in the dark, bumping into impediments while trying to move forward. Maybe we’ll never get over that. Do you still love Weezer and Mac Demarco as much as you did when you were seventeen? Is getting out of bed at 5 o’clock in the morning still as hard and dreadful as it once was? I’d like to think that it isn’t. I can only hope that being an adult isn’t as hard as my mother made it look. I imagine myself being a very dysfunctional twenty-one year old. I’d be locking myself out of the house, eating endless junk food, and nearly going deaf from raucous concerts. The worst of it would be missing the bus by the last seconds probably from staying in bed trying to get just a few more minutes of sleep. If that doesn’t sound like you, you’re doing a good job.
What makes you happy? How far are you with the goal to visit every state in the United States? Is there still even a USA anymore? Because if Trump is elected I’m not sure how long the nation could survive without tearing themselves apart. I hope the doctor wasn’t right when she told me that I’ll never grow taller. It’s funny how you used to be a small scrawny runt trying to keep up with the giants that surrounded you. But eventually, you grew out of it like you do everything else. You probably have forgotten these years and left them in the past. I don’t blame you, high school can be shitty. I know it might make you cringe to think about it, but don’t forget the memories. On occasions moments were gruesome but it was bearable. We all have to earn our stripes. It’s these times that molded you, and without them, you wouldn’t have been shaped into what you are today.
If your nights are late and you’re surrounded by good people, appreciate it. It wasn’t so long ago that things were different. If you have something you care about that keeps you up until sweat is falling from your brow and the full moon gleams through your windowpane, keep pushing. If someone asks you “What do you do?” and you don’t hesitate, you found yourself; that is the greatest gift you could give to your adolescence. Even if we are identical in thought or remarkably divergent, I ask you to remember one thing. What you’re doing, whatever it may be, make sure that you’re growing. Don’t be dragged into the bottomless dumpster of maturity. Don’t let anything stop you from moving forward. Promise yourself that you’ll be great. You owe it to that little kid that didn’t have any hope, to live the spectacular life he never thought he could. I hope you find you’re looking for.