ok, I just made the weirdest thing on bambuser. I could not control the sound and it was echoing and feeding back and being totally awesome only to me. VERY industrial. surreal, dreamlike, probably like a nightmare more. david lynch might be the only other person capable of sitting through it :) still, it amuses me and you have to amuse yourself first right? I post these things on facebook and here and whatever and I wish I could find my fellow weirdos who are as amused by the dissonant industrial live streaming clusterfuck of images and sounds but it's really hard to connect on the internet these days and I think my videos on bambuser really reflect that frustration in the most coherent incoherent way possible. I like it. no one else does. I don't care. I am just going to keep continuing to do this. but I definitely think it's time to watch some tutorials. lol :) I hate manuals and tutorials tho. I don't learn that way easily. I need to just get in there and make a lot of mistakes to learn usually and soldier on. I need to go make lunch now for everyone. this is very difficult to manage taking care of a 5 year old and a 7 year old with down syndrome while working through my technical and emotional issues. but this is what I live for and this is what I do. and I do it best. I am my own thing and this is good to me. ok, time to go make macaroni and cheese. if you can handle it go watch what I just made on bambuser and I dare you to sit through the entire thing. it's hilarious and just gets more hilarious as it goes on.