it’s upsetting to me that with practically every interaction i have with a man i don’t know, i feel like i have to be on guard. it’s in my bones. it’s second nature. i can’t even trace back to where i learned this from because it’s been with me for so long. i’m out in the world feeling like i'm either being appraised or hunted - that i’m going to be harassed or hurt. constantly. i feel like i have to smile and be overly pleasing and polite and if that fails i have to be ready to defend myself or run. i walk outside my door on the look out, always aware of my surroundings, knowing that there are places and times of day where it’s not alright for me to be alone in my hometown. my bitch face is my armor. and it isn’t resting, it’s ready - protecting me from the catcalls and critiques and the innate creepiness some men possess.