Not As Many Geckos Hanging Out With Me In The Bathroom As I Remember
Well here I am, back way earlier than anyone expected. I just realized that there would be a bit more downtime here in the motherland than I thought since the days haven’t gotten packed with activities yet. Actually funny story, once at a Living Wage meeting I told my working group I was going to Vietnam this summer and this one boy in my group who is pretty cute tbh was like ah a trip back to the fatherland and I was so taken aback by the use of fatherland. Like I’m too gay and reject masculinity way too often to describe this vacation as a trip back to the fatherland. I’d still smash though so if he ever hmu I’d just be like my trip to the motherland was good. Anyway anyway, Vietnam. The traffic is seemingly crazy to any non-native and especially to any American with all our uniform roads and their rules. I’ve been back a couple times so like you can always kinda expect it but like you never know what kind of crazy shit you’ll see and I swear we were driving from Saigon to my dad’s hometown just in the middle of the road head on to some yellow truck and the driver maybe turned his wheel to the right by a centimeter to avoid it. I’d guess the yellow truck drive turned his wheel a centimeter as well if not less cause these cars didn’t move but miraculously here I am telling the story of it. Meanwhile, my sister was snapchatting it adding a little yelling and gasping to the background for some drama. I’m not the only gal in this family living for…………………… the drama of it all. But it’s pretty interesting because I don’t think the traffic is as wild as we think. There are definitely general rules to the road and it’s pretty organized chaos. Idk all the motorcyclists know their place on the road like obv if a big ass truck is behind you speeding up you’ll move to the right to let them pass it’s just basic survival. Every now and then you see a motorcycling feeling bold or in a rush speed past but even they know what they’re about so it works out.
I have to wonder if I would be that speeding motorcycle if I learned how to drive here in Vietnam. I think in the end everyone has a certain driving style that can be reapplied to different traffic conditions and I think in Vietnam I’d be that bitch who just zooms in between the gaps of everyone because I’m suddenly in the need to go fast. I think Rage Rider would totally still exist if I was learning to drive a motorcycle instead of a car and I think the verbal aspect of Rage Rider would be totally transformed seeing as now they could possibly here me say fuck you under my breath as I pass them or as they cut me off. Essentially the story of Rage Rider is this: I get pretty aggressive when I drive lmao and just find everyone else on the road completely insufferable and want them to pull over and get the fuck out of my way so I can get to where I want to go at my own pace, that pace being 20 over the speed limit. It’s kind of like Ghost Rider, you know that one Marvel character that got rebooted as Robbie Reyes for a little bit and had a great writer and artist until Marvel fucked up as per usual and then sent his solo series to the gutter? Yes very similar concept except instead of my car bursting into flames my blood pressure just increases and I cuss more and I think recently I had been starting to flick people off more? Something about the physicality of raising my middle finger despite them not being able to see as they drive past doing some dumb shit really satisfies me. See, outside of the car I’m just me. I’m just your average gal hanging out smoking a little baking a pie like whatever I’m docile I’m docile I truly think I am as a person but the minute I get into the car I’m a monster. It’s like the reason I can be so docile outside in my everyday life is because of how much anger and frustration I exhaust behind the wheel. So, that is the long awaited story of Rage Rider. I like watching the motorcyclists zip by the car because I always think, in some other universe that totally could’ve been me still lmao, just yelling fuck you in Vietnamese at other people driving too slowly.
So while in Vietnam I have been putting my shoddy Vietnamese to good use kinda. So far, I have managed to survive 90% of a conversation with my grandfather without parental intervention until he asked me what I was studying and engineering is beyond my vocabulary as someone who is pretty solid with: numbers, and the word yes. The only people I can have a complete conversation with in Viet are my parents lmao there’s just no threat when I talk to them so my Vietnamese is better but anytime someone else comes up to me I start sweating and this sweat is discrete from the sweat caused by heat and humidity. I have done a lot of sweating. It’s very damp here in Vietnam. Anyway, prior to this trip I was obviously trying to work on my Viet at home in everyday life so one time, after my cousin’s graduation we were at this Viet restaurant for dinner and I decided like, oh I’m good on food I can order my food in Viet no problem. I wanted iced coffee so my turn came around and I spoke up to order and for iced coffee it’s ‘ca phe sua da’ which is simple enough but I guess I add an sh sound to sua when there’s apparently no sh sound. But I was like very sure I was right about my pronunciation but all my sisters and cousin were like why do you say it like that and I was like no no I say it correctly and they adamantly shut me down so for like two weeks now I’ve been saying it without the sh sound since I got such intense backlash from the audience. But then today we were at the grocery store and we bought some crackers that go with milk or something idk they weren’t for us but we bought these crackers that had a description written ‘banh quy sua’ and my mom said sua with the sh sound!!!!!! Like I knew I was saying it correctly and my sister was like but there’s no sh in it and I’m like enough with your Western perspective girl move on!!!!!! Decolonize your mind!!!!! Vietnamese is wild you never know how any letter could possibly be pronounced!!!!! And my mom was like yeah you can say it with or without the sh it doesn’t really matter it’s just a matter of accent at that point. Just felt validated and also cheated of my proper pronunciation that one day at the restaurant. They almost changed me as a person you know? I could’ve been running around saying sua without the sh sound for the rest of my life and I’d only ever attribute it back to that crushing moment at dinner when I tried to order coffee for myself. But now? I’m unbreakable, steadfast and all cause my mom said that shit doesn’t even really matter.
Well anyway, jetlag got me today and I thought I could take a quick nap at 7 pm and still go to bed at 10:30 or whatever but it’s past 10:30 and now I’m also aware that it’s almost noon back home so I’m like oh I’d be up at this time anyway so idk hubris of man or something. Anyway anyway, more to come. I have a lot of thinking time while we travel around so in all the moments I’m not unpacking the very essence of myself and my thoughts and their very reasons for coming about I’m probably thinking of zingers for the blog so we’re in luck!!!! It might just be the end of the dry spell, ladies. It just might be so as always, stay tuned for the drama of it all.