@tsaya Your First Blog Post Is Due Tomorrow So I Am Reminding You Right Now
Today's good things: I enjoyed the Living Wage meeting tonight, from what I know I think I have an easy week ahead, I took a nap
It was kind of difficult to think of three things for today's good things. An overall rough Monday I guess. Nothing about it was that bad except for my Urban Planning midterm in which I just didn't have enough time to write a good essay so I ended up turning in trash. I forgot how awful essay tests are. Next time I'm going to request that all engineering majors only get math problems to solve for any test in any class they take and I'll never have to write an academic essay ever again.
I'm glad I started a blog just in time for me to develop a crush on a boy. It's absolutely exhausting but at least you guys get to suffer reading about it too. Anyway, I had a chance to play volleyball with VB again today because the group chat decided to play today but I ended up not playing because I was hungry and also because they didn't respond to my messages in a timely manner. But the worst part is that I knew two people were already playing today and it wasn't until VB responded saying he would play that I also suddenly and very curiously wanted to play too. So ready to play that I wanted to leave the living wage meeting right at that second to maximize how much time I'd get to spend with him. And then on top of that I started overthinking their lack of response to my messages in a way that equated them to a lack of response from VB specifically. And all of this stupid shit I did in the span of 20 minutes is just proof of my crush. What I thought yesterday was just simple infatuation has grown overnight into the suffering of a crush. I get so irrational when I have a crush lmao like I'm literally the worst. The last time this happened to me was in 11th grade. I've been crush free since the start of my senior year. I've been fucking soaring through life with the most level head I've ever had but now we're back and it's gonna be a trip. The problem is that I also know that I'm being irrational as I think the thoughts. It's not as though I can't recognize my dumb ass thinking dumb thoughts but that doesn't stop me. I guess it's good in the sense that at least I don't stifle my emotions. Learned how to deal with that junior and senior year of high school. I still had work to do tonight too but I was ready to put on my swooshes and go play volleyball for an hour just to hang out with him a little bit. In the end I didn't which rationally was the best decision since I was starving and I have work to do and I hadn't cooked dinner yet either but part of me is just disappointed that I didn't get to see him when I completely had the chance. I want to astral project and fight myself but since I'm not that powerful yet I'll just be here complaining about it until my next dick appointment or something. We'll all find out together, how exciting.
The Story of Number Amar
Usually my blog posts only get one title and everything else is just shoved under there but The Story of Number Amar is something very exciting that I've thought about putting into words for a while. So of course, some preface: I have a friend named Amar who, and I'm only putting what's relevant to the story here, likes to smoke and is good at remembering numbers. Once when we were high he asked me what my cell phone number was and so I told him and then he immediately had it memorized. What a gift. And so there I am, amazed at his strange ability and I thought, what if that was like a super power he had? And thus Number Amar was created and it's a movie plot of course and all of you get to read the screenplay first. What a fuckin exclusive.
I imagine the story begins with Amar as a child with his number power manifesting as he grows older. I would start the movie when he's 8. He doesn't really have an awareness of his powers just that numbers come easy to him. But his mind is really noisy because of his number powers since he lacks full control and so he gets really distracted in school except for when numbers are involved. He gets diagnosed with ADHD due to his lack of focus. Number Amar is also kind of lacking in his social skills. His head is all numbers!!! How can he make friends with the average 8 year old??? He can't unless they tell him their phone number in which he's fucking on that shit. Done. Game over. That number is memorized and associated with that child and now Number Amar at least has an acquaintance. The movie is, if you haven't guessed it yet, a coming of age movie. Will probably end up being a cult classic. Another big part of 8 year old Amar's journey is becoming a Social Justice Warrior. I really hate the term Social Justice Warrior lmao it's so ugly and used by people who are probably racist and it's ugly and that's that on that but Number Amar isn't ugly. He just cares about justice and social issues and so I decided to use that term because it's easy and at least encompasses the idea of what he is. The reason Number Amar already cares about social justice is because his brain has a greater thinking capacity than the other children around him. His number powers allow him to recognize the injustices he sees and the power systems that enable the injustices. This is important to his character arc. It's a driving force really. #1 ally Number Amar is here to use his space in society to amplify the voices of the oppressed, as well as his powers.
In my mind there would be a time skip to 11 year old Number Amar in which he is really getting a hold on his number powers. He's become cognizant of them and is starting to use them in deliberate manner as opposed to how he previously interacted with them on a subconscious level. It's important to note here that Amar will be entering middle school during this part of the movie!!! How daunting. Amar still has those acquaintances from elementary school but middle school is a different beast. How will he navigate the jungle that the hallway proves to be? A bright spot for him, of course, are locker combinations. He got his locker assignment and was fucking on that shit. Opened it in like half a second. The other kids are struggling. Every morning they walk into school stressed about opening their locker but Number Amar? That's a place of serenity for him. An oasis in the oily, body odor cursed desert of middle school. He even helps other people open their lockers for them. Once they tell him their combination it's done it's open. I also foresee some conflict with another middle schooler, Amitav. Kind of a bully to Amar but ultimately I think they end up becoming good friends by 8th grade. This is about as far as I've gotten. I haven't mapped this out that much yet since I can only add to the story when I'm high. The creative process really is a struggle, you know? Also my attention span when high is only so great. Again, the creative process is a struggle. Think you've lived the life of a suffering artist? Walk a 0.2 miles in my shoes from my apartment to Amar's next time we light up, then you'll see.
I hope you all enjoyed getting a sneak peek to the next breakout movie of the century. I hope you also enjoyed my existential suffering as I try to navigate emotions and affection and rationality. Stay tuned for the drama of it all.