This Bag Of Pretzels I'm Eating Calls Them Flavorful Which Is Like Very White
Plain old pretzels being called flavorful in what world????? To who????? If not for this hummus I would be eating lightly salted edible cardboard. Anyway, I haven't been writing recently because I've been too busy? That's absolutely incorrect so let me go ahead and not try to play that. I haven't thought of anything good to write about while making the 500 mile trek from my apartment to the school of architecture for my two classes there probably because I am always making that journey at the ass crack of dawn which to me is 9:30 am of course. I don't know why I was cursed with classes before 10 am but I'm just trying to live my truth now, ladies. That's all we can really do. Today it was fucking pouring out while I made the 1000 mile walk so I definitely wasn't thinking of anything to write about. In fact, the only thing I was thinking about was whether it was a normal occurrence for my jeans to get so god damn wet while I walked in the rain. Like today they just got soaked and I was just uncomfortably walking in wet denim for a whole 10000 miles and then sitting in these wet ass jeans for an hour in class. So while I was walking and suffering, I spent the other half of my time looking at people's jeans and hoping my eyes were strong enough so early in the morning to make subtle color distinctions between the wet and dry part of their pants. I just had to know whether I was the only one getting rained poured on them despite having an umbrella over my head like if the rain was just particularly problematic for everyone today I would start my day less jaded but if I was just unusually wet I was going to be bitter about it for a week. So, noticed a lot of people wearing black tights which was unhelpful as there was no color distinction I could find there. The khaki pants I saw were not as dark as I thought they should be if they were getting the same level of drenched as my jeans were and other pairs of jeans that I saw didn't seem that wet either so basically I was getting some personal treatment for the stars today. I'm sure somewhere in my birth chart horoscope for January 1st 2017 it says that I'll be getting soaking wet after walking in the rain. I'm gonna go ahead and come to the conclusion that I was getting soaked an unusual amount today but because I was too tired to be bitter this morning I will not be carrying this resentment with me for a week. Is that what we call self improvement?
My parents sent me a picture on Friday of my jury duty summons in February which was both tragic and stressful. On one hand I thought why not skip a day of school and serve on a jury and be exempt for the next three years but on the other hand there was the chance that the trial would last more than a day and my ass would have to be back there for the next month and I would ultimately fail all my classes. So with that ultimatum hanging over my head I decided I would call and postpone the jury date a couple of months and leave my problems for myself later in June when at the very least I don't have class. Before today's decision to call and postpone my date though, I was talking to Omar last night about how to get out of jury duty and by the graces of the internet gods we ended up on the abysmal forum that is Fairfax Underground. Omar, being the tech wizard and most well informed person on the planet he is, immediately described the place as cancerous and after we spent an hour on there last night I have to corroborate. That place is filled with the most bitter, racist, sexist, fascist, etc etc pieces of shit to live in Fairfax County. I don't even know how the site is still running. Who maintains it? Who wants to maintain it? So besides getting a lot of bad advice from the forum on how to avoid jury duty and also being called whiny by old people on their racist death beds, Omar and I also stumbled upon a forum opening up a discussion about what would be built after an old high school was torn down. I have never seen something so beautiful in my entire life. The lot is like 15 acres or something around there and the person starting the thread lists three things he would like to see built there: a mattress store, a gas station, and used auto dealership. I'm so fucking upset that I'm not making any of this up like here is some person on the internet and their highest hopes for this big ass lot is to have another mattress store be built there. But god it gets even better because there are multiple other people who also would like to see a mattress store be built on a lot. Apparently no one in Fairfax has a fucking mattress to sleep on and they've been waiting for some divine act of the gods to give them a lot big enough for a mattress store and oh holy fuck have their prayers been answered. Other notable answers include one person asking for a Roy Rogers to be built. I only know Roy Rogers exists because my driving instructor had me drive him to one during a session once and he got what looked to be an average hamburger. Maybe I'm wrong though and this person asking for a Roy Rogers is hitting it on the money but I honestly don't know one other person in my life who knows what a Roy Rogers is or would ever suggest going to one for a hamburger, mainly because none exist. Oh fuck the best one was Chipotle which at first sounds like a standard answer. But this Chipotle suggestion was not standard, it was some person reminiscing about their Chipotle experience a couple years ago. A couple years ago. Like multiple years in the past. And then goes on to say that there are none nearby in Fairfax and that they'd really enjoy to be able to go to one again. Where the fuck does this person live that they can't find a single Chipotle nearby in Fairfax?????? I want to know if the forum I was reading last night is actually our connection to an alternate universe very very similar to ours just with slightly altered social and cultural values in which mattress stores and Roy Rogers reign supreme. That was honestly the wildest hour I have had in my entire life for an hour. There are so many other goodies from Fairfax Underground but unfortunately you have to dig through a lot of slurs and bullshit but sometimes you'll come across someone named Odildo Suckem Jr who is posting a thread about "this cumming weekend's football predictions." Gold. Absolute gold.
It's only midnight but I'm about to do a mask and knock the fuck out cause this Monday has gone on way too long. The post also was way longer than I thought it was gonna be but that's what happens when you let yourself run wild. I'll try to start thinking of interesting topics again and hopefully I'll be fruitful. Until then and as always, stay tuned for the drama of it all.