Absence And Being Fake Busy
I haven't really done shit since getting back to school. I haven't had anything due immediately so it's hard to do work because nothing is right on the wire there's no sense of urgency. I can't perform unless it's somehow also destructive towards the rest of my life so that's the weird limbo I've been in. I also cooked dinner today and it was like... okay. Kind of upset about it because it's the second time I'm making this soup but it just wasn't that great today like it was really missing something with the seasoning but I couldn't really pinpoint it and now the pot is sitting there reminding me of my disappointment. Let me tell you about the things I need to do though: I have a 10 page paper due on Monday for my urban planning class which at first sounds pretty horrible but then with very little thought might sound not that bad because urban planning is interesting but then upon reading the examples returns to being horrible like good god these kids did so much research on their hometown like what the fuck I don't care about Annandale that much to write 10 pages about its failures to be an visually interesting and sustainable suburb. The comprehensive plan for Annandale is like 150 pages which is ridiculous I can't believe it's so long. I'm just shocked. So I don't know when I'm gonna do the research for that or even write about it. I also have a presentation on Thursday about my queer American history paper but that wasn't that great of a paper and like I hate talking so that'll be rough but I made the title slide for it so I've done one thing. I can reward myself for that right? What else... I have my final project for civil and statics due on Tuesday which is crazy. The statics one is a group project though and last time I had a project with my statics group I did all the work and got us the A so I'm thinking I get to j chill on Sunday when we meet and they can do the work lmao. Also on Sunday is the living wage retreat for like four hours which is all good, I'm all for it but didn't realize what a whirlwind of a weekend I'm gonna be having and also the statics group wants to meet Sunday like when am I gonna have time to write my urban planning essay??? Never. So I feel the stress acne coming but I still have nothing due immediately tomorrow so it's rough it's gonna be a rough night like maybe I'll smoke you know? Like what if I'm in the mood to not be productive just for a little longer like is that the worst thing I could do? I'm not sure what tonight is gonna look like but honestly this paragraph has been so cathartic like all these thoughts have been immortalized and now everyone knows how fucked I am and also how hard I'm pretending I'm not fucked for next week lmao.
I have nothing else to really talk about honestly I just wanted somewhere to complain so here I am. That's pretty much it for today which is boring. Maybe I'll be more interesting tomorrow but that's a coin flip. Stay tuned for the drama of it all as always though.