Three Sunrises This Week
That's how many I've been able to see while sitting in my toasty kitchen at 7 am still awake from the night before doing something awful that I could've done earlier. But I think that's the last of that for a while!!!! Back to a regular sleep schedule and hopefully clear skin. That's always the goal. Anyway, I really wanna talk about raccoons for a bit because the night I wrote about googling a solution to the raccoon problem I did google it. What I found will shock you!!! Just kidding it's probably not that shocking but I think raccoons are just very interesting and kind of cute but they are demons intent on uprooting our urban environments. So to really unpack all of this we have to start in the beginning of my google search on how to stop raccoons from getting into your trash and I initially thought I would read an article but upon hitting enter and letting my 75 mbps wifi do its magic I saw a youtube video link for "Raccoon-Proof Your Garbage Can" that was only a minute and a half long. I was curious as to what solution this white man was going to give me and honestly I could spare the minute and a half in my search to defeating the raccoons. Essentially this man made like a glorified bungee cord that cost $15 to seal your trash can and honestly I was appalled. A quick glance to the related videos and I realized I was really digging into a new part of youtube with this offhand google search. I decided instead to go back to the google search and read some articles and lo and behold a regular bungee cord was suggested as a tool to stop the raccoons or perhaps a fat ass cinder block on the top of the trash can. The cinder block seemed a little dramatic to be honest like you're gonna go through all the effort of lifting that piece of shit onto your trash can just to fight the raccoons? But then I was going through the comments and people had the wildest stories oh my god they said the raccoons learned how to get through the bungee cords and they're strong enough to push the cinder blocks over like girl evolution was good to them. So I was sweating cause I thought the bungee cord was gonna be the end of the problem but clearly not. Also there was a suggestion or two saying to spray the trash with ammonia or cayenne pepper so I was right but I have yet to try that suggestion yet. But anyway how fucking wild that these raccoons with their little hands can just open your trash can or work through the bungee cords or push down a cinder block.
That had me shook for a bit to be honest and then I decided to look through the related videos on some of those raccoon-proof videos and that's how I ended up watching a 50 minute documentary on raccoons and their behavior and I honestly think they're unbeatable. First of all, they have like zero natural predators in urban environments. The suburbs are safe for your families... and also the raccoons like you thunk that thought. So the only thing that can really kill them in suburbia is a car but the raccoons are smart and they learn to avoid main roads. This one scientist tracked raccoons using a gps collar or something and they honestly did not cross main roads and if they had to cross a road it was a smaller one and they would sprint across it. Also, their hands. Their hands are so important because that's why they're so good at opening trash cans like they don't have opposable thumbs but their digits aren't webbed so they can really utilize them. Their hands also have a crazy sense of touch like they can decide whether something is edible or not based with their hands and like the reason they are always washing their food or whatever is because the water makes their hands more sensitive or something it like soothes and strengthens their hands I think. It's crazy. Also living in urban environments has already started to affect their evolution like lmao the ones in cities are lazier because the food sources are pretty abundant and as long as they know their route they're j chillin. Also lmao okay last crazy fact because I need to move on with my life and like moving on means stop talking about raccoons so damn much but they can collapse their spines!!!! That's crazy I watched this mother raccoon slip through a small ass crack in a door shed and like just expected her children to do the same like what? How intuitive is collapsing your spine? I don't know about all of that. But anyway, moral of the story is that the raccoons are getting stronger and it's our fault because they are the ones actually thriving in our environment.
I only have three more finals to do isn't that nice!!! I'm not studying enough for them at all but at least I won't be up all night ever again. In fact I think I'm gonna go to sleep soon which is amazing. Maybe I'll write tomorrow but regardless of when I write again just know it won't be about raccoons lmao. But as always, stay tuned for the drama of it all.