I’ve Been Thinking
Too much. Too much thinking recently lmao. Just kidding there’s never enough thinking we should always be thinking but sometimes it’s a dangerous pastime because you’ll get scared or nervous about like Life™ and what the fuck is up with that right? Anyway most of my thinking has come as part of the afterthoughts of a lovely and exciting and messy visit to NYC to see Amar and some of the thoughts are sad but this isn’t a sadboi blog is it now it’s a humor blog so I’m gonna keep the other thoughts in my bullet journal see I’ve done so much thinking that it’s already led to writing and not even on this blog it’s led to paper pencil jotting down notes and run on sentences but not even for an audience just for my bullet journal and the handwriting isn’t even pretty and my hand smudged the pen ink and I wrote too fast and made too many bad metaphors and it was kinda fake deep but I kept going until I got to the end of the page and now we’re here because I need to spice up my life a little. Jk we’re not here to spice it up anymore it’s spicy enough right now I’m here to turn the mundane into something exaggerated and mildly funny okay here we go. Anyway, I did get to roll a blunt while up in the city it was an okay blunt, I mean it got me pretty high but that’s cause I’m an eternal lightweight but I’m kinda bummed Amar didn’t get like actually high on Friday night with the blunt I just had a lot of hopes and dreams for that blunt but it only pulled through for me. We actually got rejected from every bar we went to this weekend lmao our fakes did not make the cut anywhere except this gay bar cause Alekhya was smooth with the bouncer and this other bar because again she but also I was smooth the bouncer but they had a $20 cover so we said I think the fuck not and waited in line somewhere else for like an hour only to get rejected lmao.
Okay well that was like half of a paragraph I started yesterday but never finished because then I went to do some site observation stuff with my supervisor who I don’t think I’ve named yet I’m gonna name her Aman kinda like Amon from the Legend of Korra but like not sinister probably doesn’t have a super tragic backstory and like isn’t using the struggles of an actual minority group of people to rise to power while lying to them. So Aman. She’s pretty cool, pretty chill like generally doesn’t give a shit about much of what I do but I feel she can be a little too vague in what she wants sometimes or sometimes I think she knows what she’s looking for but won’t realize she didn’t really tell me what she was looking for? I just think the way she explains some projects to me sometimes is too vague honestly. Like, newsletters, I made like 10 headings for this newsletter that had a pretty specific design motif but then after she marked them up she was like, you know what? I think the messaging is getting confused due to the design and I was like that’s a fair point but also you saw me making these like…………………. since my first day here. I mean I turned around and churned out another good newsletter template ofc but she definitely could’ve intervened earlier and been like, hey, let’s stick to these certain design themes and go from there as opposed to sending me off into the brainstorming world without solid guidance. But anyway, that’s the reason that paragraph got interrupted and also I don’t think I would’ve been able to be really funny at the time I started writing cause I was still like moving out of my sad mood which framed a lot of my thoughts honestly you can see it in the paragraph above lmao. But going outside and reading an article about leo season really helped and then I just started like regaining energy and also I read like a fuck ton about my signs and the way they interact with each other which was also really helpful just because it’s always good to reexamine your birth chart when you feel lost. The stars will guide you through hardship, ladies, they really will. It just feels good to know somewhere out in the universe the stars that made me understand what the fuck is up right now. Anyway, with regard to that first paragraph I don’t think I’ll be finishing it but my original plan was to tell the story about a milk argument Friday night in Amar’s room after we got back from total rejection at the bars lmao. I just thought the story was funny because one I was high and two like Alekhya was not on my side holding it down for almond milk and its other plant based brethren and it’s just very curious because she’s supposed to be the vegetarian like in the room there was one vegetarian and it was her but even she was like nah dairy milk is good and I couldn’t not make a stand for almond milk. I felt like I was the vegetarian all of a sudden like how the turntables????? I think I could be a vegetarian though like in middle school when I had conceptualized the idea of me being a vegetarian I think if I just brought back the resolve 12 year old me had back then I’d fucking kill it. Like tofu dishes, soy protein, almond milk, avocados, chick peas, lentils, quinoa but only quinoa that doesn’t displace farmers in central America, like the list goes on I mean, fuck, kale!! Eggplants!! I love vegetables and meat substitutes they’re so good. But I also love viet food too much and they eat meat all the time so idk. But anyway, there I was, explicitly pointing out the flaw in how it was suddenly four against one with regard to the dairy vs. plant-based milk discussion and like how ironic almost it was that the only actual vegetarian in the room wasn’t also making a claim for almond milk like even if she doesn’t like almond milk I feel like as a vegetarian you’d have to just immediately support anything plant-based that substitutes for animal products. Isn’t there some moral obligation contract you sign when you become a vegetarian anyway? Is that the only thing 12 year old me didn’t get and thus never got to be the vegetarian I wanted to be? But then I was also informed that Alekhya loves bonchon so I guess there wasn’t an actual vegetarian in the room but high me had a good fucking point under the pretense that there was in fact a vegetarian in the room. So that was Friday night, the rest of the weekend was cool I finished editing the pictures for the weekend really quickly actually but that’s cause I realize now that like unless I’m on like vacation outside of the country I probably won’t be going through 400 pictures at a time anymore like these fun hang outs don’t warrant like 500+ pictures. Anyway if you love almond milk hit like, comment, and subscribe thanks!!
Anyway, yesterday I was at the gym and I was doing chest tricep since I start every week off with chest tricep just because I want to make sure to get my tiddy work out in before I get too tired and/or lazy and/or busy later in the week to hit tiddies. So anyway, there I am, doing my shitty tit workout and I say shitty because I don’t try hard enough when I go to the gym but I’m a huge fan of consolation prizes so I’m like well fuck at least you’re here that’s gold medal worthy if I’ve ever seen it, so overall just not like pumping iron or anything just kinda listening to B’Day and singing and dancing along and touching weights every now and then. Okay, right, so there I am at the bench and I get to my max set which is a 45 on both sides and like obviously I need a spotter because death is imminent having just done two sets of 35 like I just can’t factually finish my set of five with 45’s on my own. So earlier, I had said hi to my former suitemate from first year who is like an acquaintance at best but a friendly one like we had a class together and even though we didn’t do any work together in that class there’s some solidarity there and also we are in VSA etc etc like basically we’re friendly. So, I’m looking for a spotter trying to eye which person nearby is gonna have to bear the brunt of doing my work out for me and no one in the near vicinity is like even vaguely attractive so I ruled out that as a guiding factor on who to ask, two people were benching together so I couldn’t let the other person die without a spotter just because I needed a spotter like that felt rude when I considered asking one of that pair and then this other person was like doing something and I probably would’ve asked them had I not remembered seeing Elliott my former suitemate so I take a quick scan around the gym, find his silhouette, make a b line for him and ask for a spotter and he’s like yeah of course. So anyway, lmao we finish the set, I need help for the last two reps this is the really boring part of the story who fucking cares about the actual work out the funny part is that after Elliott helps me he’s like, lmao fuck it’s so funny he’s like, are you purposely not working out your chest? And I was like you know what???????????? No I’m just bad at this and will never make an active attempt to be good at this. He was like yeah you’re just not really going down far enough and you’re not holding it there and he was basically explaining how to bench lmao and I had to interject and say like well Elliott if I bring the bar down to my chest and let it rest there I’ll die. I’m not ready to face death yet I could barely face the prospect of graduation last night Elliott what do you want from me? And he was like no you just hold it lower and I was like you know what maybe one day but today is not the day and he laughed and I laughed but I was laughing because like how funny is it that I’m out here doing all these workouts wrong and like will continue to do them incorrectly for the rest of eternity. That’s not true though because I tried holding the bar lower for my last two sets but I was tired and like I was doing 35’s and basically if I had really committed to making the changes Elliott suggested I would’ve died. But also!!!! You know what, but also actually Elliott I am working out my chest because I have A cup tiddies in the works right now like I see them when I go home and take off my shirt so actually you’re the one who’s wrong here. I am purposely working out my chest!!!! Chest tricep day has not been all for naught this entire summer and I have the minimal muscle mass gain to show you Elliott but I won’t show you because this is not something I’m interested in pursuing. But anyway, I just thought it was funny that Elliott came in and uprooted my whole idea of what my chest work out was lmao. Lms if you also think I am purposely avoiding working out my chest.
In other exciting news, I bought myself a new camera!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhh!!!!!!!!!!! I just dropped like almost an entire paycheck on a camera which is crazy crazy crazy but I’m so excited. Let me tell you all about my newest purchase it’s the canon sl2 and it’s got 24.2 megapixels which is overkill obviously like my camera right now has 10.1 megapixels and the pictures are super clear and there’s no way anyone can tell the difference once you enter the double digits but anyway 24.2 megapixels and it has a touchscreen which is cool but the double cool thing is that it’s an articulated screen so I can move it and turn it and when I want to take perspective shots I can angle the screen upward for framing shots and just ahh!!!!!! The luxury!!!!! The technology!!!!! Welcome to the 21st century bitch!!!!!! But I was also kind of high last night when I ordered it so when I tell you that that was a fucking process it was a fucking process. Also not just because I was high but because like the billing address for my credit card is fucked up from first year when I had to get a card replacement so then I changed my address and all of this shit and I have to update it but I haven’t updated it since I moved into this apartment and like messy and then on top of that the devil’s lettuce and its influence on me last night just had me reeling. I dunno how I got through it or had enough foresight to know which address to use but the order went through and I’m really just waiting for the email confirmation that it got shipped and that I’ll have a new camera in no time. Also, now that I’ve bought this camera: fuck you ebay!!!!!!!! Guess who got around having to use your terrible bidding system!!!!! Me!!!!!! By spending more money!!!!!! But this is also a new camera model like it got released on the 20th so there was no way it was gonna be on ebay anyway. Amazon was an option, and I’m realizing now that like there’s a prime option when buying the camera but I also like see this thing that says usually ships within 1 to 3 weeks so I dunno if prime kicks in after it ships in 1 to 3 weeks which in that case I got the same shipping deal as ordering directly from canon idk but anyway!!!! New camera!!!! I also want a new lens specifically a 24mm but that purchase will have to be moved back a while unless I get high and am feeling really fucking bold and end up buying it then but other than that I don’t think I’ll be picking up a new lens for at least a little bit. But anyway, just exciting news and everyone now knows that I’ll be waiting in anticipation for my camera and once I get it I’m sure I’ll immediately write about it and all the plans I have for the camera as if it’s going to be drastically different from the way I use my current camera.
Well I think that’ll be it for today. I have yet to complete one task here at work and my goal for everyday is generally to try and at least complete one thing per day so then by the end of the summer I’ll have at least completed like 40 tasks or however long I’ll be working here. I also haven’t told Aman that I don’t want to work for like the last week and a half before school starts just because I decided I want to go back to a summer lifestyle where I’m searching for things to do instead of not having time to do things also I want to sit by my pool and I can’t do that if I’m down at school. Anyway, I’m feeling better hopefully there is a noticeable contrast in writing tone from the first paragraph to these ones from today and here’s hoping everyone else is having a good week too and if you’re not it’s okay!! Just really intentionally feel your way through the tough situations and tell people you love them and like it’s not actually that simple at all I know but it helped me!!! xoxoxo and as always, stay tuned for the drama of it all.