Wet's Album Saved My Life But They Won't Go On Tour In Charlottesville Isn't That So Rude
Today's good things: the Living Wage board meeting was in a bar on Pride Night tonight which was really fun!!!, I'm doing a face mask right now, I went grocery shopping
I am trying to go to bed early tonight because I want to get eight hours of sleep for once and I'm so sure my lack of sleep is a major factor of how much I've been breaking out this semester. If there have been two defining things of this semester I would say working up to the last minute and breaking out are my two big things. I am leading a true life of bliss as you can see. I am only half joking because I've actually had a lot of fun this semester in my non-academic life. Having an apartment is great and I smoke way more lmao and I like the people I hang out with and that's all good. If I ever start to define life in binaries and simplistic dichotomies notify my queer theory from first semester immediately so he can personally come and fight such hegemonic thinking out of my very being. The best way to get in contact with him is probably through email or if you catch him on grindr every once in a while.
I haven't thought a lot about today's post because I was so busy today. It was kind of annoying how busy I was to be honest. I don't like running around. I would much rather sit here at my kitchen table and write a fucking book for you guys to not read. So today's post is gonna be pretty dry. It's already dry. I will say that Halloweekend is coming up. I've decided to be a sexy doctor again and then for night two I'll probably be Burt Macklin but I would need aviators and idk I'm not sure I'm in the mood to buy or find aviators. We will see what happens Saturday night. I've debated a lot on not going out since the clown subplot of America is surely to make a resurgence since there are some real freaks out there. I'm not trying to die because of some loser who couldn't stay inside and be a loser alone. Part of me wants to fight a clown because I think I deserve to be angry at them. Anger is such a rare occurrence for me I feel like? It probably came a lot when I was growing up and tried to stifle most of my emotions and anger is a pretty strong one just in general so that one definitely had to get subdued and now we're still dealing with the aftermath. I get angry when I'm driving I guess? I'm just aggressive and not nice on the road. 17 year old me was so nice but not 19 year old me. She's looking to rear end you if you don't drive fast enough!!! Anyway, clowns. I want to fight one because I think the adrenaline rush would allow me to actually fight and they deserve to get jumped. I've seen videos of them get beat up and they really get me going. At the same time though I can't even handle watching scary movie commercials so there's a fine line of what I can actually handle in real life.
Once when I was younger I watched Robot Chicken, which isn't even scary, and then I got scared at one part and had to sleep at the edge of my sister's bed that night because I couldn't handle going back to my room to sleep. I was scared of everything as a child. It wasn't just me though, my cousin was also very scared of everything. We probably helped each other become more scared of things. Like, I was deathly afraid of tornadoes or twisters. Now, they are scary natural disasters but every time the sky started getting stormy I just said my fuckin prayers and tried to live my life to fullest until the storm passed. I was always thinking about which bathtub was the safest to sit in during a tornado. Also, landslides. Terrifying. My cousin lived across the street on a hill and I just always though, wow one hard rain and I'm gonna die. Her house is gonna slide down and wreck the shit out of me. Too much rain was no good. From like 6th to 8th grade I was absolutely terrified of the baby eater from Pan's Labyrinth which, to be fair, is also actually pretty scary. But I think I could have gotten over by 7th grade had my sisters not continually draw him to scare me. It was the worst. They were horrible. I should never pick up their drunk asses from a night out in spite but you know, we grow and move on. We never forget though. I'd say Voldemort was a pretty big threat to my existence at some point too. My cousin and I would just sprint up the basement steps because maybe he was down in my basement. Valid fear I guess. So, as you can see clowns would easily fit on this list of fucking me up mentally so if it came down to me fighting one I'm not sure I could handle it. But I'm almost 20 now so maybe I've grown into the hero five year old me needed and I can beat the shit out of a clown if I see one. We'll all find out Halloweekend.
Wrote more than I thought I would since I'm trying to go to bed early but this post naturally started flowing so that's alright. Will keep everyone updated on my clown fighting status. Stay tuned for more as always.