I Tell Myself I'm Ready For Cancer Season But Am I Really?
You just can’t ever know if you’re actually ready for cancer season or not. I read an article today about cancer season coming up lmao and it’s all about emotions and I love emotions especially E MO TION by our queen carly slay jepsen. The article talked a lot about interpersonal relationships and feelings of home and family you know domestic shit and I was like I fuck with that but I don’t have my chosen family at school with me? There are peaches on sale at Kroger and I really wanna bake a pie but who will I feed it to? I cut half a watermelon that my mom gave me yesterday and I was like oh wow I have to eat this all myself because Omar isn’t here to help wow okay mood I guess. Anyway in preparation for cancer season I decided I will be using all my bed bath and beyond coupons in the near future in order to really turn the new apartment into a new home. It’s kind of wild living alone like wow this shit looks the same every time I come home like it’s lived in I live in it but it’s not a super dynamic living space the way I expect it? Idk none of this is a shocker but living it and thinking it are different. Anyway, I really like the new apartment despite the current lack of people entering and leaving and living. There are so many windows it makes me so happy and I don’t turn on any lights until it’s like 9 pm lmao I just refuse to waste all my new windows especially after last year when I had to turn on the lights in the kitchen at like 5 pm even in the spring. So I am living for the windows and I am also living for the kitchen sink because that shit is so deep I’m so fucking happy about having a deeper sink. I think I can put most of my forearm in it like straight down I’m just so glad it’s not like four inches deep. I don’t have that many dishes being only one person but like it’s so easy to fill the brita and my dish washing technique is truly at its prime in this sink. Sometimes I go around the new apartment and I’m like wow this shit really is the luxury one like the stove and microwave and oven are so much nicer lmao the oven will show me what temperature it is while it’s preheating like I didn’t know ovens did that and I also didn’t know I was suddenly some bougie ass bitch like that. Obviously the central air is beautiful and not loud ass fuck and much better than the window ac units we had last year. What else to rave about???? Oh lmao something really interesting is the amount of like hooks that have been drilled into the wall everywhere like I was washing dishes one day and noticed that there were like three hooks drilled into the side of the cabinet and they were not all one uniform hook nor were they like nicely planned in the way they were drilled. It was basically like three different occasions of hooks being drilled in and each time I guess whoever did it was unsatisfied with their work so then they came back with another hook and tried again but fucked up and then they tried it again and maybe they were satisfied but part of me doubts they were really comfortable with how the hook situation turned out. I also was putting the blinds down one day and noticed a hook drilled into the side of the window sill like what????? This placement wasn’t even good. Why would they put it there like maybe if they had like curtains but there were no curtains and the other side didn’t have a hook either so I don’t……………… understand any part of this decision at all. Will continue to look around my house for other hooks in odd places just for my own knowledge and to gain a better understanding of what the fuck the people who lived here before me were thinking.
So we all know how tough it is for me to churn out content consistently in any way lmao but I do try and make quick notes of things for my future self because I am very certain that past me is smarter than future me. I have conceptualized this many times and I always think it’s true like past me has always been one step ahead of future me whatever it is. Like packing? Past me will have it all under control and when future me is uncertain if my passport is in my backpack or something else equally as important I can always trust in past me because I already knew I needed my passport and I knew exactly where to put it and as long as future me can relax for one second to just check the correct spot, seeing as everything that gets packed has a correct and incorrect spot another thing past me knows very well, then all will work out fine. Well anyway, the only reason I thought about this was because I went through my notes on my phone to make a grocery list yesterday and then stumbled upon some really good topics I wanted to write about but completely forgot to because as I said, future me is not nearly as smart as past me. So anyway, that was a good introduction to how I realized I’ve been on the search for a pair of white athletic shorts for the past like three years. Just clean, white, simple, have pockets, sit a minimum of two inches above the knee, nothing crazy. I was at target buying Amitav the frame I got him for that work of art Ricky gave him lmao and so then I decided to take a stroll to the clothing section and of course gravitated to the athletic wear but target disappoints me every summer and has never had a pair of white shorts in stock. The search for these elusive shorts happens every fucking summer because every summer I’m like I’m about to be tan and white is gonna look so good on me imagine if I roll up in all white even to just play tennis or something else #sporty like I’m gonna have the other kids shook by how good I look in all white. One time a volleyball friend asked to borrow a pair of white shorts last semester and you know what I had to do? Disappoint him the way target disappoints me every summer and say that I didn’t own a pair of white shorts like that. I have never been more embarrassed truly. Uniqlo actually has white athletic shorts but they’re like the sponsored ones like they’re the white shorts that apparently Djokovic and Nishikori wear when they play tennis and like I’m a fan of them both don’t get me wrong if Djokovic wants to hmu or get a drink or something I’m there but I will not pay $40 for a pair of white shorts that have the unqilo logo ironed on and marked the fuck up because some guys are wearing some version of them to play in the Australian open. So that’s where I am on my search. I honestly have never looked that hard except when I’m at target and browsing so maybe that’s where I’m going wrong but don’t @ me or call me out on anything if you want to call someone out call out target for consistently failing me every summer. I’m actually planning on going to target after work today to buy a frame for the print Amar got me of the sailor mural from Iceland which I loved and so I will swing by their athletic wear section once again, and you know what? I almost want to be disappointed by them again I mean that way at least I have some consistency in my life. Lmk if you know where to get cute white athletic shorts or if you are also consistently disappointed by target either or.
Anyway, I’m still at work and I just put in werk girls let me tell you about how I ran up and down back and forth to and from the Assessor’s office and NDS these past two days all for an estimate on how much like the curb outside of someone’s house would cost to acquire for some repaving and road additions. There I was doing jack shit yesterday morning as always and so then my supervisor came up to me and was like hey I have today’s project and I was like gag kinda but then I saw she was holding plans in her hands and I was eyeball emojis because I love looking at plans I love plans like I am really considering asking her to print me out a really big map from the comprehensive plan so I can hang it on my wall I just love looking at them they’re so beautiful. Anyway she came up to me with the plans and was like so we’re doing this project on this road and we need cost estimates for these easements and I’ve never done this before and at that point I was a little more relieved because if I fucked up I would just be like oops and she’d have nothing better to say than ya oops but anyway she was like you’ll probably have to go up to the Assessor’s office and ask them for cost per square foot. So my first thing was googling what an easement is and how one goes about purchasing Right of Way™ because I for one did not realize the real estate industry called things right of way in terms of owning land and allowing people to pass through said land like right of way is who is allowed to go first at the stoplights and the four way stop signs don’t reuse terms like that. So there I was, catching myself up to god damn square one since my supervisor was already half a step ahead of me throwing around these terms like they were nothing. So anyway, in the meanwhile I was also psyching myself up for the confrontation with the people in the Assessor’s office in which I had to talk and explain what I needed from them which is always a challenge. So an hour of telling myself to just enunciate my words I finally walked up to the Assessor’s office and it went downhill because I was just talking and their front desk ladies were like I don’t know if you need an appraisal for that or not and then they sent me to this woman who worked there and she was like no we don’t give property values per square foot? I don’t know? What are you asking me? And I stood there like equally uncomfortable like I don’t know? I just looked up what an easement was an hour ago? You’re supposed to help me? So then I left the plans there with her which was probably the most disappointing part because I was still reading through the plans and for the rest of the day I didn’t get to read them because she said she was gonna give them to a different assessor who was out of the office yesterday. So overall yesterday with the assessors was: terrible and the equivalent of a trash fire. Luckily my supervisor was like that’s interesting we’ll see what they have to say. Now fast forward to today, and this morning my supervisor emailed me and said she was gonna be out of the office but that I should try and do some estimates which meant I would have to go back and confront the Assessor’s office again. Didn’t need to psych myself up as much this time but I went in asking for the woman I talked to yesterday and they were like oh she’s coming in late today you can just shoot her an email about it and I was like wonderful as little face to face interaction is ideal for me. I sent my email at 9:30 am, very prompt, very succinct, just asking her to let me know when she passed the plans off to the other guy. It took her until 2:00 pm to respond, and part of me just wants to think that she walked into the office to start her work day at 2:00 lmao but anyway, she emailed me back saying she left the plans on his desk yesterday afternoon which meant I could’ve talked to that man this morning. Also something interesting is that she requested read receipts on the email like I was clicking out of the email and it stopped me and said like she was requesting a read receipt and I was like……………. wow this a new level for me I don’t know how to feel. Email is supposed to be the lowest commitment form of online communication if I send anyone an email I should expect that shit to be read in four business days and then responded to anywhere from a week to a month but apparently there are people out there who want to know exactly when you open their email. Wow. Really can’t hide anywhere these days huh. Anyway, yeah she said she already dropped them off and I ran upstairs to talk to the other guy and he said he’d have the estimates by tomorrow and I said thank you and ran away really fast and emailed my supervisor telling her that we would have estimates by tomorrow aka I did my job like very well and I didn’t do much but look up basic real estate terms and overthink human interaction. If I don’t get like, a free lunch or something soon I’m gonna complain to HR about not being appreciated enough. But basically ya girl is out here crushing it on the city government level just a little update while I write this at work.
Okay well that’s enough from me today. I wrote this whole thing in like 1.5 sittings which is really impressive because recently I’ve written these in such piece by piece things which is kinda not what I enjoy? I like churning out whole posts in one sitting because they feel way more cohesive even if what I’m writing is in no way cohesive at all. It never really is honestly but the experience of writing, much more cohesive in one sitting. Well until next time which very well may be tomorrow at this point at work, stay tuned for the drama of it all.