How Long Can A Dehydration Headache Last Asking For A Friend
Honestly a lot of this Vietnam trip has been travelling or in transit there’s just no avoiding it. But the good thing is that I am always just thinking about things and one thing leads to another and suddenly my stream of consciousness is being put into a word document to later be copy and pasted onto ello to be posted and the fans rejoice etc etc etc. Anyway, today I realized I lost my American sim card which is honestly not what I expected to happen at all. If anything that was one of my least worries the minute I put it into my extra sd card case but lo and fucking behold I just checked it on a whim today and it wasn’t there. This honestly isn’t that big of a problem but it is like one of those annoying things you’ll think about every now and then and just complain for a little bit to yourself like wow great job now you made yourself require a visit to the at&t store when you get back jetlagged as fuck and also you can’t text your friends you just landed safely in America unless there is miraculously wifi extended from Dulles all the way to where the airplanes themselves land. I’m honestly just hoping it is somehow made it into my toiletries bag because at this point half of the items in the hotel bathrooms have made their way into it. I just can’t pass up the amenities they offer like the hoarder mother I grew up with somehow comes out in full when I see it all lined up like oh fuck yes I know I have a Costco pack of 10 toothbrushes at home all equipped with some wildly advanced bristle structure but I have been searching for this basic ass toothbrush for months now so I’ll just take both. Like who??????? Who let me?????? The hotel staff should really keep it in those safe vaults they provide because any barrier to shit I don’t actually need and I would immediately lose interest in it. I know myself and I know I would refuse to exert any extra effort on something as trivial as toiletries especially considering I pack a very robust toiletries bag.
But anyway, let’s move on let’s keep moving. I have had two very interesting car rides in the past three days. The first was a taxi ride from the airport to our hotel in Saigon and the second was the ride from Saigon back to Long Xuyen today. That taxi was, in short, magical. I just sat in that backseat in awe. I think about the traffic patterns in Vietnam a lot maybe because I’m studying civil engineering which is just a further extension of interest in urban landscapes but back to the point is how often the ideas go through my head and I’ve already written about it once with the controlled chaos etc etc you really don’t have to go too far back to find that post so like I said let’s move on let’s keep moving. This taxi cab ride was magical because he was both so aggressive and also in control of the controlled chaos. And when I say aggressive I just mean he was speeding and weaving, aggressive in the sense that he was probably going too fast but in my mind he was going the perfect speed. This taxi cab driver was just so smooth with the way he wove through viet traffic I was so shook. I think what really got me was the way he used his honking with his weaving. Like the vehicles here are always honking to signal that they’re passing to motorbikes but something about the way this man honked was so clean. It was just two quick beeps but he had already passed them because we were moving so seamlessly that we moved faster than the speed of sound. One moment we were 100 meters away from the car in front of us the next we were passing them in the lane over while the honks did their best to catch up to us. Every time we started to drive up behind some new car the same thing happened over and over again and at some point I could only imagine we were in some racing game where the honks were like little lasers that cleared the lane in front of you. It was like this taxi cab driver was so sure of the effect his honks would have on the other drivers that he was able to move in and out of lanes which is solid logic in a video game but like we’re on a fucking road with people who cannot be expected to behave the same every single time but that was the magic of it because they seemingly did. We left the airport second but got to the hotel first. You could go to Disney World to see magic come to life, or you could just go to Saigon and hope you get in this man’s taxi. Both would satisfy equally in my opinion.
But the universe and the stars keep our lives in balance as we all know. And so, today on our five hour drive back we had perhaps the worst driver possible. The thing is that he too was also very aggressive but if you had to take all the good parts and bad parts of Rage Rider, separate them into two people, and maybe exaggerate them a little, you’d get magical taxi cab driver and terrible terrible bus driver respectively. See, taxi cab driver which is the good Rage Rider has poise, elegance, grace, a certain distinction to his driving. This bus driver was just out of control which I will admit sometimes Rage Rider is not the most rational driver but it’s balanced in Rage Rider. This bus driver was just messy. Here he is, driving this 14 seater bus from Saigon to Long Xuyen, meanwhile he is trying to speed cause I guess he’s over it and in order to speed must weave and pass other vehicles on the road but I would like to just again point out that he was driving a big ass bus. Not just a truck or an suv, but a fucking bus. And the other thing that made him so terrible was his honking. With taxi cab driver it was artful okay each honk could probably be strung together to make a chart topping song but this bus driver just screamed. I’m gonna just equate it to screaming. He held his horn down way too fucking long and sometimes for no real reason. I mean yes sometimes there was a motorcycle in the shoulder in front of us but they are already aware of their place on the road with regard to big ass buses and that’s the whole reason they’re riding in the shoulder so you actually don’t have to hold down your horn while you drive by them. If we’re keeping the false dichotomy of taxi cab driver and bus driver up, then the honks from the taxi were clean like lasers while the honks from the buses were messy like projectile vomit. At some point I wonder if it has ever crossed his mind to reverse the wiring on the way his horn works so that when he presses the button it makes the bus go silent and maybe that’d be less work for him at the point cause he used his horn so fucking often. The other thing is that he was big into weaving but again, the bus. And also, this time we had to pass people on two lanes road which meant going into the other lane of incoming traffic to pass which is generally only something you do if the other lane is clear but this man did not give one fuck about whether there was incoming traffic or not. If there was none, he’d honk to let the people know he was passing and if there was a motorcycle or very often another fucking bus coming straight at us he’d just lay on his horn some more as if this upcoming collision would be cushioned by the airwaves from his horn. I probably braced for impact every few minutes in the car ride today. I don’t know why I kept watching the road though. I knew he was shit at driving but I just keep seeing like maybe this is the car we hit and subsequently die from due to high speed impact but it never happened. Like someone out there wanted this man to keep driving and never learn his lesson. I mean I’m glad he didn’t learn his lesson with us in the car but fuck has anyone told him to relax???????? Stop holding down the honk button and to also use the brakes every so often??????? It was just a mess and not smooth and I’m glad I’m not in that bus anymore basically.
I didn’t realize either of those would get so long but I have a lot of feelings on driving you know? Anyway, if any of my witch readers are out there and would like to cast a location spell so I can find my American sim card that’d be wonderful. Until then I guess I’ll just be intermittently searching for it in random crevices hoping it wasn’t left at one of the hotels I stayed at. As always, stay tuned for the drama of it all.