I Don’t Ever Close My Blinds Because That’s How Much I Love All My New Windows
I realized that I’m not a big fan of closing my blinds recently. Like at night I might close the front blinds in the living room because I’m probably doing some dumb shit just like legitimately something dumb by myself so there’s that but other than that I never close my blinds anywhere else. Like the blinds in my room are always open which arguably should be the ones that get closed more but I don’t spend that much time there anyway and when I’m changing clothes at 7 am in the morning for work there’s no one really walking by that could possibly see me and also just based on the geometry of it there’s really nothing they’d be able to see from the street. I dunno I guess I’ve always known this but at home I always close my blinds like my mom has always been so adamant about the blinds getting closed when it gets dark and I’ve always done that but now I’m here at my apartment and I am even reluctant to close them because what if there’s something cool in the sky or what if the sun wants to pop in for 30 minutes in the middle of the night like I want the apartment to get as much sunlight as it can. I’ll even suffer through the sun shining directly in my face and casting a glare on the tv instead of putting the blinds down which is exactly what happened on Sunday when I had dinner with Ian [REDACTED]. Redacted because what if he goes around googling his full name and somehow ends up here like who knows how much of a snake google is can’t let them guide Ian to this blog where I’m about to write about our first dinner date lmao. Jk it wasn’t a date but it was and it was a lot of fun he just came over after work and I cooked dinner and he was really hungover and then we smoked and ate dinner and watched power rangers and we only hung out for like two hours but it was a really fun two hours like I had a great time and he did too because as he was leaving he was like that was really awesome thank you so much and I was like it’s whatever don’t worry about you can sleepover if you want too like you can go get ice cream with your friend or whatever and then come back after if you’re bored or lonely or something I mean just an option let me know you know just text me or you can call too whatever you know. So that was date #1. I’m sure many more to come on this segment of dates with Ian [REDACTED]. If any of my witch fans want to cast a love spell on us so we can finally be together that’d be ideal just a final thought.
Anyway, this past weekend I was on tumblr just scrolling which I honestly don’t do as much anymore tbh like in high school I definitely would’ve thought that I would be on tumblr until my deathbed but like three years later and I’m in college and I’m still scrolling pretty regular until………… I’m not and then it just gets more scarce and I’m just barely on now. But I still stand by the fact that tumblr and twitter are much funnier and more original than facebook I’ve just been sucked into the vortex of autoplaying videos too often. So anyway, I was scrolling and there was one post with this gif of I think a chicken running or something there was something running and it was like, basically a caption about running up the stairs after you turn off the lights in the basement so that pure evil doesn’t catch you or something and that shit took me out. I read that I was out for the next five minutes it was just too #relatable. I remember all the fucking times I was just sprinting up the basement steps when I was done doing laundry way back in middle school just out of pure fear. Like, fear in its purest form. What was I afraid of in the basement after I turned off the lights? I don’t know I can’t tell you. I just knew fear when those light switches turned off. I think sometimes when I was with my cousin she would give that fear like an actual character or something like I distinctly remember one time her saying run up the steps before Voldemort gets us and that got me pretty good but whenever I was by myself? Pure fear. Just the darkness and fear and nothing else but me and my survival instincts and that’s how I learned to start going up stairs two at a time and from then on I always looked at stairs and tried to count steps really fast to see if it was even or odd numbered so that I knew whether to immediately start going up the steps two at a time or if I should start going two at a time starting on the first step in order to finish climbing the stairwell perfectly landing at the top going two at a time. That doesn’t make any sense except that it does because I know exactly what I’m talking about. But anyway, if you want to start climbing stairs faster, just go back in time to when you were a child and scared of everything in the fucking world and develop a technique to go up the stairs two at a time and it’ll never leave you and then you’ll just be really good at walking up the stairs at age 20 and for the rest of your life tbh.
So this past weekend I was also back at home for the second weekend in a row, just too many birthday celebrations that I can’t miss you know? This time it was Xing’s birthday dinner and it was at this really cool rooftop bar but my fake isn’t really usable outside of central Virginia which sucks so I just sat there and drank the drink from this other girl who ordered for me but it was only one drink and it was too much of a hassle but it was a really cool rooftop bar and I will definitely be back. So anyway, later that weekend I of course went grocery shopping with my parents in order to stock up and since we’re not white we are shopping at the Korean/international grocery store where all the good shit is. So the good food and vegetables are there ofc but what’s also there which I feel like I already knew but only really consciously conceptualized this past weekend is a lot of hot dads of color. HDOC everywhere. It’s not like walking into giant at all, it’s just a different experience going into the international grocery store. Idk I almost felt like I was cruising simultaneously as I picked out cabbage and garlic and chayote lmao. I can’t imagine cruising in person tbh like without grindr I don’t know if I would have had sex before my first real relationship not necessarily marriage but like a boyfriend or something. I do wanna try going to a gay spa though but anyway that’s not the point of this story because the point of this story is that I love the international grocery store in my area for the selection of produce and HDOC. Next time I go shopping there I’m gonna look hot and then we’ll see what happens.
This weekend I also went to the dentist. It was fine I guess. The dental technician was kinda awkward. That conversation was just kinda awkward like it was friendly but it wasn’t super smooth on her part imo but anyway whatever, clean teeth. They floss your teeth like really rough? It’s a little unnecessary in my opinion. Idk I just don’t understand why they have to use the speed and force that they do to floss my teeth like when I floss I’m applying just the right amount of pressure. It’s not too much, it’s not too little, it just gets the job done and I’m still comfortable. In fact I feel great because my dental hygiene is good and my gums aren’t fucking bleeding from a little piece of string. But anyway, after I went to eat pho with my family and my sisters were talking about teeth whitening strips and how Katherine was like ya my strips are weaker so it takes longer but they’re less expensive and whatever whatever they were just discussing things and then they got to looking at each other’s teeth. Tiffanie’s teeth are like not super white I guess so that’s obv why she wants to invest in some strips and then we went around the table looking at teeth and we got to me and now to preface, I know my teeth aren’t that white. I see myself in the mirror. I brush daily you know like I know what my teeth look like, but they were like a little shocked that my teeth were yellowish? I don’t know I wasn’t expecting anything when I bared my teeth but it was as if I had fangs suddenly or something. I dunno maybe my teeth are actually really yellow but the dentist wasn’t like hey you’re looking ugly and also it’s negatively affecting your dental health he thought my teeth were doing fine beyond like this small overbite coming back since I don’t wear my retainer enough. But also like I already knew my teeth were yellowish and honestly like I assume everyone’s teeth are not actually white like that just seems unrealistic. Also, I know my teeth are kinda yellow because I’ve used the teeth whitening feature on lightroom before like none of this was a shock until we were at the pho restaurant and suddenly it was the talk of the town. My dad legit asked if I brushed my teeth everyday? Like wow what an accusation because I’m pretty big on brushing everyday as a bare minimum for dental hygiene. Just an odd conversation on Saturday. The pho was good though, always satisfying.
This has been a really long post but one final thought and it’s everyone’s favorite segment that never actually got started but is now being revived because I have the creative energy again: high album reviews. I mean, it’s kind of a high album review but really just an album review I think but anyway today we’re returning to our roots back in 10th grade with Save Rock and Roll. I have had this album on repeat since Sunday night tbh and honestly I think I was in the mood for some kind of angsty alt rock music after watching Power Rangers (2017) after Ian [REDACTED] left. Not to rehash my movie review of it but that’s such a good fucking movie. Like without a doubt number two movie of all time, after the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Movie (1995) but this is not the movie review segment this is the album review segment so back to the music. I was just in the mood to feel like I was in 10th grade again and what better way to do that than to listen to Fall Out Boy I don’t think there’s any other band that can so perfectly capture exactly what high school feels like the way FOB does. I remember I was high with Amar after taking my drug test in May lmao and the last two songs were Young Volcanoes and Rat A Tat because we had listened to some FOB in Iceland on the last day and I was in the mood again and then I was like lmao it’s just so amazing how like teenagers fuck so hard with this like high tempo rock music like it’s just so perfect for teenage years like there’s nothing that could fit you better. I stand by that statement. Save Rock and Roll is just on in the background and I feel like I’m 16 and on the emotional rollercoaster of my life about what I don’t know but there’s a lot of it. And I really do think this all started because I watched power rangers like the reboot is so teenager too I fucking love it I ate it up I’m eating it up right now and I’m not even watching it. It’s just so good. So anyway, in terms of real music review: the best song on the album has to be Young Volcanoes just because that was my fucking song in 10th grade and my favorite line from the album is Big Sean’s part in the Mighty Fall where he’s like “yeah I’m a dick girl, addicted to you” and it’s not that good but it’s also like lmao and I also love it and every time I’m just like thanks Big Sean hmu sometime. And that was my album review of Save Rock and Roll.
I’m thinking I’m good all of this for now. I should work on my excel spreadsheet for a solid 30 minutes before I stop working again so I think I’ll go do that but also I’m like buzzing with creative energy or sometimes just energy these days idk I really felt it in force yesterday and I got home from work and was like I’m gonna do 10 things in the next 30 minutes I can feel it and I didn’t but I put a stool outside in my “front porch” area because I was like yep I’m gonna sit outside today and watch the sunset on this stool and then I also called Amar because I needed to vocalize and burn some of the energy off but I’m just like flying. I benched 45s without the help of a spotter yesterday like I don’t know who I am but maybe it’s these teenage angst coming back not as angst but just pure energy I just have the energy of my youth again. But anyway, that really is enough for now. As always, stay tuned for the drama of it all.