OK...Now with Phillip running for the hills, you could say I was in a bit of a pickle. He was my provider. I had no savings, no form of income, and no car. I was also seriously getting sick from detox.
Our landlord informed me that, because Phillip was no longer there to pay the rent, I either had to find a way to pay or I had to go. I did the only thing I could do. I got on the phone and called mommy and daddy. I begged them to let me come stay. They told me "No." They saw and opportunity and they took it. They knew I had no place to go and they had been after me for years to go to rehab. My answer was always "No."
So here it was...the proverbial fork in the road. I had a choice. The streets on my own or rehab. I chose rehab. I know it hurt my parents to say no. I was angry. I cursed them and told them they would never see me again. I know that they laid there that night. Scared, worrying if they would ever see me again. But I know that it was that "No" that saved my life. They told me no because they loved me.
The very next day I brought Rocky to my parents, they did agree to take care of him while I was gone. I said goodbye to them and I immediately admitted myself into a detox facility. I was there for 7 days. 7 days of classes and meetings and sharing my feelings...and Ativan...Not only used to take the edge off of detox symptoms, but also to prevent any seizures that sometimes can accompany detoxing. This was the easy part and I knew it. 7 days is nowhere near long enough to detox from 4 years of drug abuse. But it was a start. And now with the critical part over, I could continue detox safely, without the fear of any other health complications. They asked me where I wanted to go for rehab. I told them to pick. I didn't know anything about those kinds of places. All I asked was that I didn't go too far from home.
I was released from detox Sunday, June 15, 2014. It was also Fathers Day. I was informed that the place that was chosen for me to go was All the Way House. A faith-based, 9 month program associated with Miracle Place Church. I didn't ask any questions. I was scared, anxious, and feeling like crap, but I was glad to be away from concrete walls and the constant smell of pee and bleach. The discharge nurse told me that my ride from the House was on its way to get me. I sat there in the lobby, waiting. I just tried my best not to think. I closed my eyes and repeated the Our Father prayer over and over. A technique I use when dealing with my anxiety. It wasn't long until I heard the very loud rumble of a vehicle pull up. I opened my eyes to see this huge, old, white Dodge Ram Van pull up. Ya know..the ones with the 3 bench seats in the back and windows down the side? What.....No Limo? My life is about to get real difficult. The least they can do is transport me in comfort!
I watched as 2 girls from the back heave this gigantic sliding door open and step out. It was Sunday and they were still dressed in their church clothes. They were happy...healthy. They were smiling and laughing! I wondered if I would ever look as amazing as these girls did. So happy and so full of life. They stood there talking for a second, waiting on the driver to catch up. I watched as this little itty bitty Angel climbed out of this big, huge van. When I saw her, I knew that this little lady was gonna change my life. My anxiety and fear vanished. I knew that this woman.....this beautiful woman of God, was gonna be in my life forever. I knew that everything was going to be ok. I knew that this was probably one of the hardest things I was ever going to have to do. But I knew it was the right thing to do.