From the archives.
We walked to the place we call Svampvägen (The Mushroom Road), gently added the stamp, soaked in LSD, on the tongue, pushing all the way under after a awhile. I didn’t feel nervous at all. The thing is; I AM a quite nervous person. Sometimes I can worry a lot, but as a colleague told me, when it comes to the mind you seem to be able to dare everything that comes in your way. I think him for that.
So, first time tripping on LSD. It took its time. A long time. It felt more than an hour before I noticed anything different with the world around me. Until that moment, when the sky started to change, we sat and talk. Just talked. It doesn't kick in like shrooms. It’s kinda sneaks up on you, hides behind your back and plays peekaboo with you - and it’s not until it's over you realize it’s been happening all along - stronger and more potent.
Please, yes. I’m not the one who uses mind-altering substances for partying. It’s never been that too me. The key word is moderation, because if you take too much you also will loose the more valuable things you can learn. I’d planned one thing during this trip, to take care of some personal business - just in case it worked in similar ways as shrooms. But I’ll get back to that.
Both me and G started to see the sky move. The clouds was pulsating from dark to bright, like I could control them - make the rainier parts, the moisty parts of (yes, I know - clouds are made of moist) stronger or lighter. For a while it felt like the sky was a timelapse, I could see every movement of the clouds - sometimes faster, with visuals not unlike an oil painting, sometimes subtle and dreamy like water color.
A flower turned into - what it really is - a masterpiece of the nature. The glow from the fire we made become almost eletronic, LED-lamp-ish, in it’s movements over the dying, slowly dissolving, wood. As the darkness laid it’s comfort around us we could hear how the forest woke up - animals came out for their nightly struggle of life and death. I never forget those screams.
As I laid down beside G on the blanket I closed my eyes. The visuals were nothing like shrooms of course, vague and pale. I focused on myself instead. I took my brain in my hands, gave it a massage - carefully removed all those bad things I usually think of myself, from how I react to other people, the way I think I look, the self-loathing. I crumbled it into pieces and threw everything away.
Your sight is much sharper and clearer when tripping. It’s like you use your whole eyes, the (almost) fully potential of them. I saw G, my boyfriend since nine years, I could see how amazingly handsome he is (which I knew since earlier also of course) but also felt even (how that can be possible!) stronger how close I am to him.
After maybe two hours we decided to start walking home, through the field in front of us. Letting the cellphone lamp light up the ground in front of us it seemed we were either giants looking down at a tiny jungle or - most of them time - we were swimming, looking down at the bottom of the sea. I felt how the sweating, a common thing during this state, made me feel colder and I could wait to get home. But the trip to our apartment was still an amazing travel, an adventure in light, symbolism and actually a quite funny paranoia regarding the people we were meeting from time to time the closer we came to civilisation.
When you’re shrooms you feel you have something deeply intelligent inside you, or are connected with, but with acid it’s slightly superficial - you have to work more yourself to realise things, to have insights - and looking at it now, the next day, it feels a bit colder.
Remember the brain massage? It's to close to say if it really worked, if I managed to heal myself a little bit. But if it do work, I'll let you know.
#tripreport #lsd #acid #psychonaut