I'm terrified that I made all the wrong choices, and while I did myself proud along the way, I have this horrid sense of fear to give in completely and let go of security that stopped being certain long time ago. I gave up a lot, the least I can do is pretend everything's alright.
I am scared to admit it isn't. That would crumble the false sense of stability I had to build over the last couple of years. And when does the vicious circle ends? Is it too late to start again, to start anew? Did I blow all my chances?