It is a sort of yearning, a sort of ache.
I remember your pain - it is like a missing that couldn't be filled and when people talk about phantom limbs, it is how we feel, how we all feel when we are no longer the half of a whole.
And I promise you, as you well know, that this, too, will get better. The acid taste of your loss will be grounded down with time to an ache. And every now and then, you will revisit the memories to see if the heart hurts and one day, there will only be bittersweet.
And then there will be someone else or something else that brings that euphoria or that fulfilment and then the memories will be your stories to tell without rancour, without yearning.