I want him to know everything, god, I just want him to know, I need him to know, I need him to understand. I have to do this or I will be suffering in silence for the rest of my life, I know it. I can't just not tell him. I need him to realize how bad it is, how bad it was. I need him to take this seriously. I need a hug. I need a hug. I need a hug from him.