Last night was the last meeting of the group I'll no longer be a part of.
I took my nameplate home because, well, it's not like anyone else is going to be able to use it.
Very awkward being there, working on business that will have nothing to do with me. Why am I asking for certain reports to come back to the next meeting? I won't fucking be there. Some people know and some people don't, and I was asked to hold my goodbyes until the formal dinner in June.
The head is being a bit coy on wanting to keep things under wraps, that 'nothing is official' until next week. Which is true. So there's a tiny possibility that a rabbit could come out of a hat, but -- that ain't gonna happen, and I should put it out of my mind.
One of the fellow members cried when thanking everyone for a good term. I know it was directed to me. I was, of course, dicking around on FB, being my emotionally distant self. I can't remember the last time I made a girl cry. Probably not as long ago as I think. Oh, right -- my sister, last week. Nevermind.
Now to look for something else. This is going to be a huge pain in the ass, filling this big hole.
Not to be maudlin or anything, but I work a boring, dead-end job, I have no wife or kids, and this thing gave my life a purpose beyond me, which otherwise I didn't have. And now it's gone. That's a big deal.