So to talk about OKC again, because I have nothing else going on -- nothing is still happening. I send out messages, and get nothing back. Like one green-lit account: 'I don't have an A account, so don't be afraid to message me! I don't bite!' OK, here goes! Aaaaaaand... nuthin'. She doesn't bite, but she doesn't find me interesting, either.
However, even if it's not producing any results, being back on the system has one big benefit -- it's reminding me on how I can't be bothered with this shit. Go on a date? But I have stuff going on! Go to Toronto? You mean give up my weekend? Fuck that.
My routines of singledom have made me rather staid, I admit. But dating, and by extension, relationships/marriage/kids, would really interrupt my routines, and I'm not so hot on that. Being single for so long has created a selfish monster, and I've grown accustomed to my patterns. Go on a date? But I have these Brooklyn Nine-Nine DVDs to work through...
So the sheer awfulness of online dating has as one benefit reminding you that your single ways are actually pretty nice on the whole.
An internet friend of mine was at Home Depot this weekend, and had a similar revelation, when she encountered a couple bitterly fighting over lightbulbs. We don't need to put up with that shit. We get what we want -- lightbulbs, teevee shows, home decor, a queen-sized mattress to ourselves. And in that, the single life has a lot going for it.
I need to focus on that part, rather than think about the rewards of shared lives. And maybe, just maybe, if the thought of allowing someone into my house who wants to rearrange shit to make some room for herself, if that thought fills me with absolute dread and revulsion, maybe, just maybe, I'm better off as I am.
The neighbours came back from their bike trek in Asia. She accepted his proposal, and I couldn't be happier. They came over to give me a little gift, in thanks for my shoveling their sidewalk and driveway over the last while. And that was very kind of them.
But the nieghbour guy asked the neighbour lady to give me a hug. I did not want a hug. She gave me a hug.
Neighbour lady is quite attractive. Very attractive. The whole 'Don't Covet Your Neighbour's Wife' thing? He knew what He was talking about. He was On Point.
So here is this prime physical specimen, giving me this fantastic hug, and I'm as uncomfortable as can be. Do Not Want. When you've been bereft of human contact as long as I have, this is Not A Good Thing. I appreciate the gesture, but maaaaaaaaan, let's please not do this.
It was a friend dancing with me too closely at a wedding a while back which woke up the system and got this whole online dating thing started again -- my body suddenly remembered what a woman felt like, and wanted more. For neighbour lady to embrace me -- someone I see every freakin' day -- please, no. I don't need this pressure, Ron. I don't want those thoughts about my neighbour friend's wife.