So in my phone call this morning, I asked Mom if she wouldn't mind taking it easy with liking my stuff on FB. She likes everything. Everything. And it's scaring off my actual friends, who don't comment after she has.
It went over pretty much as I'd expected. She agreed right away, but you could hear the heartbreak on the other end of the line. She knows how it feels to put stuff out and no-one responds, so she wants to spare me the same thing, she said. The guilt. Always the guilt.
But -- fuck it. My friends are commenting less and less, as once my Mom steps in -- that's it. Maybe it's an algorithm thing, maybe it's a social thing that people don't want to step in between me and Mom, idunno. Whatever it is, it needs to stop.
I'm feeling totally invaded. The ping sounds, the little red dot shows up to tell me someone liked something I did, and GUESS WHO IT IS. Immediately. Any time of day or night. My mother is with me.
I do a lot for her, and spend a lot of time with her. I need her to back off. Even if she's still there, it helps if I can pretend she isn't.
I have enough people treating us as an actual couple as it is. The first half of my life, that happened with me and my sister. The second half, it's happening with my mother. No wonder I'm so fucked up.