So Mom is in A State, after reading a column by Rosie diManno. Why anyone would read Rosie diManno, I have no idea. I wrote her off as a human being decades ago.
It has to do with the business of that lesbian couple suing on the basis that they had been provided with the wrong donor sperm. Instead of some nordic type with lots of advanced degrees, they got some loser schmuck who's a schizophrenic. Now they're suing to make the clinic more 'accountable', and because of the increased risk (not actual, mind you) of schizophrenia.
Couple Sues Sperm Bank After Learning Donor Was A Schizophrenic Dropout With Criminal Record
What does this have to do with Mom? Well, nothing, naturally. The connection is that my cousin -- the one my age -- desperately wanted a baby, couldn't find a man to give her one, and went the turkey baster route, to the tune of about $70K, and relying extremely heavily on help from her parents -- my Mom's sister and BIL. So yes, nothing to do with Mom.
Idunno. I know how I felt about what my cousin was doing -- that it had to be an engineer, that it had to be tall, blonde, and blue-eyed, that it had to come from a good country like Denmark (the warehouse for sperm, it seems), blah blah blah. Clearly a designer baby, and I have some issues with that. I also had issues with my cousin going it alone, which in her case didn't mean going it alone at all, but relying heavily on her parents for support, both financial and for care. They're in their 70s, he's been living in borrowed time for the last fifteen years, my aunt saw it as a final chance to be a grandmother (she has grandkids with her other two kids, but not on good terms with them, so things didn't work out very well). Add to that that my cousin did not want to adopt, as "there's always something wrong with them" (and she says this as the head admin of a childrens' cancer ward), and there was a whole lot of selfishness, frankly.
But not my problem. It's not what I would have done, but it's not my problem. I just nod and coo over the baby. I buy into the idea that you can't always get what you want, but my cousin refuses to accept that. We do not get along. Civil, friendly, but not someone I actually like.
So yeah. This news story feeds into Mom's feelings about my cousin's situation, which makes it intensely personal for her, which of course it isn't in the least. And now I get to hear about it nonstop.
Dunno. Sure, the couple should have gotten what they contracted for. Absolutely.
OTOH, they have a baby which they should be overjoyed with, and who fucking cares if it's not exactly what you had planned? Isn't that part of the magic of being a parent? Being surprised by your kid's development, and loving them all the more for it, rather than trying to fit them into some idea of how they should be?
But what do I know about being a parent?
On a more basic level, I see designer babies as simple eugenics. I didn't like it when the Nazis did it, and I don't like it now.
YMMV. We all choose are partners, and by extension, pick characteristics for our kids, but this -- this I don't get. Not one bit. There's another side of it, too, that it's parents who can afford this procedure who get to have kids with the best physiological characteristics -- that is, the rich get even more benefits for their kids, and the poor get further disadvantaged. Even the token idea that if you're smart or skilled enough, you can break out of your class and rise (which as I get older I realize happens all the more rarely), that idea is out the window. Class advantages are being codified as genetic advantages, and I have a big fucking problem with that.
Of course, I'll never say that to my cousin. Smile, nod, and think to myself how creepy and manipulative the whole thing is.