Have I talked about the Boat today yet? I don't think so!
The Boat has a spa. The spa has special little services. Massages and whatnot. All very expensive, and I doubt the massages come with 'full release'.
Anyway, they have manicures and pedicures. The men's prices are pretty reasonable, for half-hour treatments:
GENTLEMEN’S MANICURE Price: $40.00
This aromatherapy treatment provides hydration and exfoliation using products that appeal to a gentleman’s senses. Includes a file, soak, groom, massage and buff to enhance a man’s hands.
GENTLEMEN’S PEDICURE Price: $62.00
A delightful treatment provides hydration and exfoliation using aromatherapeutic products that appeal to a gentleman’s senses. Includes a file, soak, groom, massage and buff to renew the feet.
Aromatherapy on a manicure? Sure, why not?
Really, though, while a manicure would be nice, my feet are fucking disasters. Of course, being flat-footed makes sure of that, with toes gnarled in like some ancient foot-binding exercise. My feet are cloddish and hideous and they smack like flippers. So to pay $62 to get them all nice? HAVE AT IT, YOU POOR SAP. Do it nice, and there's an extra fiver in it for ya!
My left index toe (?), the nail is literally bent lengthwise in a 90+ degree angle, separating from the toe itself. It's fucking disgusting. I'd love to see what they could do with that.
"I'm sorry, sir, but our only recourse is amputation. It'll have to go. If you could please bite down on this stick..."