Wearing long johns always makes me feel like Spiderman.
And these are super-special long johns. Uniqlo long johns. In CAMO. I can walk through the woods in my underwear, and people would only see half of me.
Which reminds me -- when I was in school down south, there was a friend of mine, Steph. Lord knows what happened to her. Tall, lithe model type, but total tomboy who would have none of that girly stuff. Anyway, there was this other guy in our Shakespeare class who would wear camo pants every day. Every. Day. And he would carry his books and binder in the pockets of his cargo camo pants. His BINDER.
Anyway, whenever Steph would see him across the quad or whatever, she would yell out "OH MY GOD! HE HAS NO LEGS! WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS LEGS!" Then she would do a fake realization that he was only wearing camo pants.
It was fun at the time. Now I can see we were probably being dicks. Sorry, camo pants guy, wherever you are, floating around with just your torso.