Letters to tech people, part XXXIV:
[Hong Kong, sold me a fan for $5 no shipping] Do you mean that the item you received can't fix your laptop well? Could you please tell me more about the problem?
Do not worry about it, I ordered the correct part, a fan for the [laptop brand]. However, the tear-down video I was able to find on the net (it is some random Russian outfit with commentary in Russian of course, very handy; [company] does not provide manuals, which is why I'm never buying from them again) had a different version of the [laptop] in which you could remove the fan. The fan in this model is not the same fan -- the screws have been drilled out, and it is built with an additional metal piece that is part of a heat sink or just something to weigh down a bit so it seems more solid.
So I saw that and said "fuck ... it" and put it back together and I gave up on laptops and computers in general and now I'm living in a tree sitting over a pond. I fish from here, so that's my food. I wear bark for clothing. I am writing you using my last little bit of battery power; after it dies I'm chucking the whole thing in a lake. Perhaps the fish can use it.
Which is a lie, of course. The fan no longer works, so every two hours when the little number in the corner gets to 43 (it shuts off at 46, smart little thing, instead of melting itself) I have to pull up my space heater/fan which now sits in a wooden box, and set the laptop on top of that for about two hours as well. Then the number gets down to 36, the box is removed, and we start the dance again. I still wear bark, though.