I have accepted an appointment this weekend at a dining establishment for the purposes of obtaining victuals and having conversation, possibly followed by a stroll downtown.
As someone told me recently, we all have to eat. Sharing a meal and talking with a person who considers it an opportunity to get to know me better in person is a big step for me, but if I feel panicky I will go to the bathroom and call someone to save me by nonchalantly showing up. I think it will be okay. I'm not ready to call this a date yet, though I suppose that's what it is. I've socialized with friends, but this obviously feels different.
Next week is Adam's birthday, and Valentine's Day, and I've dedicated altar flowers to him on Sunday. It's coming up five months. I know I can't put a time limit on all this, and my prospective dinner companion is aware that I am skittish and having sporadic spells of ambiguity. We'll see what happens, and how I feel about it after. If he is willing to drive an hour to court me at this stage I'd say that's pretty intrepid on his part, or maybe buffle-headed, but I've agreed, and it's happening.