Welcome to #FortNightMare - a fortnightly illustrated alphabet project that I’ve started for the grand year of 2016. Now, as you know, there are 26 fortnights in a year, 14 scales on my back and 26 letters in the alphabet - how convenient is that? Every two weeks I’m gonna crudely draw one of the Fort Nightmare residents so that you can watch out for their high-jinks and their egg rolls - what a scene!
I saw the letter #C when I walked into the cafeteria of Fort Nightmare. I needed some food so I didn’t get the hangry hotdog rages, you see. I waited four hot minutes and two cold ones before the lunch lady took my order. I dug out a shiny penny and asked for a #hotdog - hold the onions. Imagine my surprise when she handed me a plate with this fella on it, crying spicy mustard tears. I couldn’t bring myself to chomp him down, and just as I was about to set him loose, he called me a name that’s far too shocking to repeat and rolled on outta that lunchroom quicker than a wheelbarrow on skis. Stay clear of this one - he’ll leave you hungry and bare like a fold-out chair!