Welcome to #FortNightMare - a fortnightly illustrated alphabet project that I’ve started for the grand year of 2016. Now, as you know, there are 26 fortnights in a year, 8 candles in my ears and 26 letters in the alphabet - how convenient is that? Every two weeks I’m gonna crudely draw one of the Fort Nightmare residents so that you can watch out for their flims and their flams - what a scene!
I saw the letter #B when I walked my legs into the reception of Fort Nightmare. The receptionist was far too gruesome to look at for more than three quick seconds so I peeped around the room and saw a suspicious looking fish bowl peering at me from her desk. I stared those eyes down as hard as I could, but they kept on peering at me until I got spooked and somebody peed my long-johns. Terrible ordeal it was - I had to wring ‘em thrice and wear my tennis shorts for the rest of the afternoon. I smelled a bit sour too. Make sure you stay clear of this one - it’ll fret your spleens and wet your jeans!