Welcome to #FortNightMare - a fortnightly illustrated alphabet project that I’ve started for the grand year of 2016. Now, as you know, there are 26 fortnights in a year, 78 bergs in the ice and 26 letters in the alphabet - how convenient is that? Every two weeks I’m gonna crudely draw one of the Fort Nightmare residents so that you can watch out for their dibs and their dabs - what a scene!
I saw the letter #G on a harsh, mean, frosty night. I had finally plucked up the courage to use the toaster again after the terrible misunderstanding that had happened earlier that week - the less said about the better though. I plugged the toaster into the electric hole in the wall, reached out a box of extra sugary generic brand toaster pastries and shook ‘em all into the slots. I revved the toaster up real hot and just as I was about to reach me out a plate, it popped up and this fella jumped at my face and got screamin’ hot jam all over my eyebrows. I tried to bat him off but my eyebrows sizzled off my face and evaporated into the cold midnight breeze. Watch out for this one - he’ll shake your blouse and bake your brows!