Welcome to #FortNightMare - a fortnightly illustrated alphabet project that I’ve started for the grand year of 2016. Now, as you know, there are 26 fortnights in a year, 3 teeth in the paste and 26 letters in the alphabet - how convenient is that? Every two weeks I’m gonna crudely draw one of the Fort Nightmare residents so that you can watch out for their shenanigans and their shenanigoons - what a scene!
I saw the letter #H when I was brushin’ my teeth with a brush for my teeth. It was early in the morning, and my eyes were droopy and tired. Had my eyes been fresh and lean, I would have seen this here fella squeeze himself outta my toothpaste tube and bite at my nose, my toes and my garden hose. He chimped me and chomped me like a chump, then ran on out of my en-suite like a runny root of beet. I tried to chase him down in my dressing gown but I slipped and tripped over my own three feet and got left sitting there like a dusty old boot. Watch out for this one - he’ll dribble on your ears and nibble your brassieres!