Woo! First show tonight with the new band (Not Dead Yet). It is going to be fantastic getting on stage again. It is so great having a creative outlet again after all these years. For the past 7-8 years for work I have created nothing. I have either pushed pieces of paper around or sold car parts and service. I have made nothing of value. Nothing I can be proud of. Sure bills got paid, but the experience left me hollow inside.
I have a compulsive need to be able to create something, no matter how mundane, stand back and be able to say "I did that. I can now sleep at night". I often wonder if its my own search for immortality through my creations that will be remembered by others in hopes I will never be forgotten that makes it so important to me, or a narcissistic view that others will miss out if they do not experience something I create. In the end it does not really matter what my subconscious motivations are, but I feel better about my life.