BETTER TO BE UNINTERESTED THAN TO BE TAKEN
I went on a date accidentally. I know that some people struggle to get dates and it probably seems unfair that I'm upset that I stumbled into one, but that's exactly what happened. I'm not positive when a girl is supposed to tell a man she's got a boyfriend. My boyfriend would tell you that the correct answer to that question is probably immediately, but I find that hard to believe. The idea of immediately paints a picture in my mind of a man asking if I need help finding anything in Home Depot and I'm just screaming 'I HAVE A BOYFRIEND'. It comes off as presumptuous and self-righteous. I'm not a believer of the fact that any man who talks to me, more than just a hello or job pleasantries, wants to sleep with me. My boyfriend says this makes me naive.
One of my coworkers gave me his number after asking if I wanted to grab a drink after work one day. I have been working there for two months and he's probably the only person who has been nice enough to consider hanging out with me outside of work because the restaurant industry is full of catty bitches. He hadn't said more than a few words to me before the drink request and I thought I could at least text him and get to know him.
Two days after he gave me his number we both had the day off and he asked if I wanted to hang out. I'm a fuck-wad when it comes to making plans and unless you call me and force me to come, I'll usually avoid it. I'm truly an extrovert, but most the time I'm skeptical if the effort will be worth it to go hang out with someone I'm not crazy about. Luckily, my co-worker insisted to the point where I felt obligated to go hang out with him.
When I arrived he and his roommate were just casually sitting on the porch watching the rain, smoking a joint. I joined in and listened to their conversation. My co-worker had just moved into this house and I was witnessing a conversation between two people who also didn't know each other. I figured it was as if his roommate was doing all the grunt work for me and I appreciated that. His roommate was this mohawked lesbian who didn't shave her legs; she was refreshingly unique to me. With her help, I learned that my co-worker was studying to be a chef, had been in the military in Guam, seriously I'm not making my casual distance jokes, and was 28.
I couldn't tell if he was trying immensely to impress me, or wasn't fully capable of holding a conversation. He was constantly changing the topic either to show me he had broad varieties of intereset, or because he knew very little about each subject. I thought he was strange that way. I was getting ready to leave when he suggested we go get food. I would have bailed except that he wanted to go to this restaurant I'd been trying to go to forever to try their hot wings. I decided that as long as I paid for my food it wouldn't be a date by definition.
He ended up buying my food. I tried to fight it but he insisted and because I'm poor and need to save all my money for the strip club, I caved. Over lunch I learned I could never date a chef. I like my basic pallet. I like that I think good pizza is the extra cheesy greasy kind. I like that a good burger just tastes good. I'm like the Adam Richman Man vs. Food of food; I can't describe to you the mahogany flavors of a sauce, but I can tell you that it's awesome. I can also eat way too much of anything. The chef was mad that they had balled his hamburger meat before cooking it, how one would know that? I'm not entirely sure.
Afterwards we got ice cream which I paid for to make things even. We talked about other good food and how to make liquor ice cream. He was spazzy and reminded me of a high school boyfriend who was a compulsive liar. He told me we could make carrot cake together one day and somehow referenced a future of him teaching me about food. I wanted him to know for certain I had a boyfriend at this point, but there was no place to interject without coming off like a bitch. It was at the point where I had waited too long as if I was hiding it until I decided whether or not I liked him when in actuality I was just hoping I would never have to mention it because he was uninterested.
He was interested. I hugged him goodbye and he said he'd text me later. However, after enduring our time spent together, I still don't have to say I have a boyfriend, I can just simply say I'm uninterested.