I VISITED THE WORST STRIP CLUB IN AMERICA
I was recently told that Maxim Magazine had once rated Al’s
Green Door the worst strip club in America. After reading about the pregnant
and amputee strippers online, I decided to make the 90-minute trip from Denver
to Cheyenne, Wyoming to see it myself.
When we arrived it was about 10:30pm. There was a large
biker gang parked out back smoking cigarettes. We went around the front
entrance to take photos of the building when we were asked by one of the biker
men if we had reached a tourist destination. Al’s Green Door is in fact one of
the only strip clubs in Cheyenne, Wyoming so I suspect that the people who
frequent it aren’t aware of its title.
In order to enter the club you have to walk through a
drive-thru liquor store. The man running the liquor store told us that we could
go right in and didn’t ask for any cover fee. Upon entering the bartender asked
us for our IDs. She was an older lady with long graying hair who was kinder
than one would expect. I ordered a gin and tonic and my friend asked for an
IPA. I was quite surprised when the bartender managed to find my friend a Fat
Tire and did it without complaint. For four dollars my drink was strong and
made with Tanqueray and I was happy.
The place was large for a dive bar, but tiny for a strip
club. There is a long skinny bar that extended the length of the room and
directly opposite of it is the dancer’s stage. Along the walls are couches and
plenty of plastic chairs. There is another room off in the distance that was
empty except for a pool table and the women’s restroom. Every seat at the bar
was taken and most of them seemed completely uninterested in the strippers. In
fact, if you weren’t paying close attention it was possible to glance into Al’s
and miss the stage entirely.
The stage is nearly ground level so the heels put the
stripper’s boobs right at eye level when standing. The stage is maybe 5x5 feet and
is placed in a corner that has mirrors on both sides. There is no stripper pole,
but instead a pull-up type bar that hangs from the ceiling. The girls are each
responsible for using their own money in the jukebox to play the songs they
want. Each girl is allowed to dance for four songs and must be topless by the
The first girl on stage was pretty enough. She had an
attractive body except for a belly that stuck out and a rather small ass. Her
face was nothing special and she also wore no makeup and had on basic
brown-rimmed glasses. Her hair was long and still wet from the shower, but
appeared to be somewhat curly and highlighted blonde.
An ugly overweight woman from the bar got up and went to the
stripper with money in her mouth. The stripper took the money out of her mouth
with a brush of a kiss and then stuffed her face in the woman’s boobs. The two
of them laughed and it became apparent that the lady was quite the regular and
nearly the ‘mom’ of all the strippers.
The second stripper was wearing what I can only describe as
a 90’s swimsuit with a hood. She looked older than the other girl, but not by too
much. Her face was charming and that of a cute punk girl with lip rings. Her
body was tiny and frail looking; she probably only weighed 95lbs. The skin on her
stomach up close showed obvious signs of having children and when she removed
her top her boobs hung well below where one would expect. She also had both her
My friend and I grabbed another drink and I asked the
bartender if Al still owned the place. Apparently, Al had sold the place 40
years ago to the man who is the current owner who celebrated his 40 years this
A group of boys who were celebrating a birthday came to join
us at our table. The birthday boy was carrying a stack of at least 50 ones and said
he was prepared to have a good time. We asked their opinion on the strippers
and the general consensus was that the younger one was their favorite. She had
been there every time they visited Al’s. The birthday boy told us about the
girl who used to work there who only had one leg, and I told them I had heard
about a girl with one arm. Unfortunately, it was confirmed that neither of them
work there anymore and I was disappointed.
We sat down at a round table directly in front of the stage.
We were the only women who took a table near the stage. Soon after we sat down,
a group of late 30-somethings entered the bar wearing fedoras and screamed
along to Ludacris songs. There was one woman in their group who tried to get on
stage and was yelled at several times for playing songs on the jukebox. One guy in their group paid $20 for a
lap dance. There is no designated place for lap dances so the strippers just
pull a chair up on the stage. The younger stripper grinded on him for an entire
song and at one point thrust him violently into a mirror on the wall and
removed his shirt.
I was impressed with each of their stripping abilities. I
have been to many strip clubs and found their skills to be on par. Both girls
would grab onto the pull-up bar and swing their feet out over the crowd and
clap their heels together to get attention. I watched both of the girls lift into the air, spread their
legs into the splits, and do pull-ups. I was envious of their strength and
control and threw dollars towards them.
I had the pleasure of talking with Kayla, the older woman
with the saggy boobs. She taught a group of men how to make money darts. She
was able to twist dollar bills into the shape of a flat dart to throw. Kayla
then grabbed her purse, covered the end of the dart in lipstick and let the men
throw it at her ass. On the second throw the dollar stuck and a few people
I gave Kayla two dollars to put her saggy boobs in my face
even though the going rate is just a single dollar. I felt bad that I was
wearing dark purple lipstick and didn’t want it to end up on her tits. This was
when she told me that she often gets an imprint of eyebrows on her boobs and
loves it. At some point she kept readjusting her thongs and explained to my
friend and I that her tampon was bothering her and apologized if we happened to
Kayla liked to strip to death metal which caused her to make
less money than the other girl who stripped to pop hits, but Kayla didn’t seem
to care. When no one was paying attention to her she would jokingly head bang
and grab her crotch while throwing up the ‘rock on’ symbol. After her songs she
let me take a photo of her shoes. The stiletto part of her enormous heels was the
barrel of a gun.
I decided to scope out what the bathroom situation was like
to compare it to reviews I had read claiming it was worse than the dumpsters
outside. The sink was covered in cigarette ashes and each stall door had a
poster with resources for ‘family planning’ as a result of unprotected sex. The
place however is definitely cleaner than most bathrooms in New York City and I
even took a piss. I made my friend bum a cigarette so that she could smoke it
in the bathroom. It seemed like a right of passage for Al’s Green Door that I
wanted to experience.
We left after smoking in the restroom and both the girls
waved us goodbye and thanked us for coming in. I thoroughly enjoyed my time
there and if it was located closer, I could imagine myself hanging out there
often. The people were nice, the strippers were talented enough, and the drinks
were cheap and strong. I suppose it depends on what you’re looking for in a
strip club, but if you just want to get boobs in your face for cheap, I’d
recommend Al’s Green Door to anyone.