The other day I was driving around the town I grew up in; the same town I technically still live in, and the one my parents both find themselves stuck in. i thought to myself about Cameron. I'm not sure why exactly it may have just been that neighborhood that reminded me of all those people, but that day it made me think of Cameron.
I was trying to remember if we had ever slept together. I pondered for quite a bit trying to come up with the ridiculous tale I thought had to exist. I got excited hoping I was about to uncover a very important mystery in my life. You see-- I had always kept a running tab of who I had slept with like some douchebag frat guy. I was purely keeping a tab to complete a challenge my disney channel roommate in college had set for me: get to 50 people before I get married. I think at the time I thought I would get married, but then when my mind changed, my friends suggested I see if I could accomplish it before I graduated. I never, ever, turn down a good challenge.
I was hoping Cameron would be the name I had been missing on my list all these years. While the number is certainly correct, the names have been confused and jumbled over the years due to cocktails and cocaine. Therefore I'm missing one, and not just a name really, an entire story, the whole event.
I started thinking more about Cameron and then I remembered. We definitely had sex. He had picked me up late at night after I snuck out to meet him. I hopped into his truck with my booty shorts and fake uggs on because at 16 I was pure class and fashion. When we arrived to his house we went up stairs and had loud ridiculously hard and long sex. It wasn't the best I had at the time and certainly wasn't something I remembered for long, but it was decent. We hung out for a bit and then got dressed so he could take me home. I opened the door first into the hallway and standing there was his mother.
His mother glared in our direction and I was at a loss for words. I could feel the heat of anger and the judgement being melted down over my entire body.
"Hey mom!" He says.
She says nothing as we pass her to go down the stairs and I took relief in knowing I would never see her again. In fact Cameron's mother was crucial in my first realizations that I didn't give a fuck when people judged me off hand. She encouraged me without knowing to tell this story at Denny's with children around.
The truth is, there's always someone to give you that nod of disapproval, but you don't have to abide by it. You can just walk on by them, down the stairs, and exit. Only one of you should let that interaction ruin your day, and it shouldn't be you.
I opened my phone to my list and sure enough, Cameron was already on there. The mystery still continues, but I'd like to thank HIS MOM, for being there at 4 am that day, and my shit holehome town, for holding these memories forever.