I'm overthinking the whole Ello thing. I think, in the back of my mind, that I have been seeing this as an opportunity to "re-invent" myself on some small level, but I have always been aggressively myself, regardless of circumstance. Yes, I'm really like this all the time.
I've been careful not to mention any illnesses here (mental or physical), and I have also shied away from more controversial subjects (like being unapologetically fat), but these are things I talk about. Anyone who knows me from Twitter knows that.
But being here in a pool of strangers makes my me-ness seem oddly defiant. Almost like I'm clamoring for unwanted attention. "The nail that sticks out gets hammered," and all that. I don't want to be hammered.
I just wanted more than 140 characters at a time.
There seems to be an...earnestness? Is that a word? There seems to be a sincerity about Ello that I haven't seen as much elsewhere. For a place that doesn't require "real" identities, there seem to be a lot of them bandied about like so many hearts on sleeves - and they feel genuine. Warm, even.
And that makes me feel worse about my reluctance to just be here, let my freak flag fly. But I have decided to try.