My Mom and I had a stimulating conversation about the afterlife today.
Me: All I know is that when I die, I am going to haunt the fuck out of somebody.
Mom: Well, what are you going to do?
Me: I’m going to open doors and mess with the lights and sit down on people’s beds in the night...
Mom: Oh, you shouldn’t do that! Sitting on beds, that’s too scary.
Me: All right. I’ll only do it to jerks.
Mom: Well, that’s okay then.
Haunting jerks? 100% Mom Approved, apparently.