Actual copy on the back of a Glutino cracker box:
"She was swept away by his pirate charm, and her bodice could scarcely contain her sighs. Escaping to their own treasure island, they ate life whole and could taste the sea in every bite. Write your own epic love story with these deceptively simple and slightly salty treats. Whether under a blanket of cheese or naked as can be, these classic crackers will sweep you off your feet and into your own gluten free adventure."
Um, oooookaaaaaay. Not sure what I signed up for buying these crackers.