A Hysterical memorandum to my futurist mind ( supposedly am not )
I'm an inexperienced wack of shit, confused and terrible, like literally just don't have any control over my own life, decisions aren't mine and I'm not that kind, lazy or am I depressed, or maybe not cause everyone say that am okay, perfectly fine piece of crap, am fine and I know am fine, you people don't need to tell me, I don't know where I belong, belong in the sense of humourous feeling that you are a part of your own life, like the life-life, like life of life, like you have a life, to make, or to create, or you are ought to be making one for yourself, so that they won't make a joke out of you, like you might have thought what-what crap does mean 'sense of humourous feeling', you might have thought am bullshitting-ing, yeah! Right, and I know right?
I'm feeling like going out on a date, alone, have about eight to ten cups of coffee, alone at the café, or just climb a tree and sit there whole day staring at the sky and bird-watching, or maybe go by a lakeside, moreover do nothing, just sit and without contemplating whether I...........About nothing, why should I supposedly think of anything, if nobody cared, if nobody bothered, or expected something from you, I know currently everything I say here is mostly just crap, negativity, or just showing off my frustrated inner tendency to ratiocinate my lonesomeness, oh no! I wasn't intended to do say that! Lol, I took the crap out of me,
Things have to be figured out, I might be forced to make decisions, I will be, even you and you and you, each one of you will go through this, I don't know what am talking about, how will you know for god's sake, and thereby god's name (nobody knows) I have a question for you, or anybody can answer,.... what is my question?
I'm too inexperienced to talk about life, even though am just three years off of from quarter of a decade, mine has been reckoned to with some people, you are actually bound to so many people, not to offend anybody, that's the truth, and also I have wrecked myself cause I couldn't act back to my bully boys, whatever now I have 25k followers on Ello, bro!.... Wait, who the hell are these people? Meh! Nevertheless I'm still a loner, intended to be alone, though you have people to talk to ( over text messaging), what a great way to socialize with your insecurities, fucking ass fake attitude, and the same old graphical emojis to express yourself, the people who built it, who uses it behind the screens and filters are just some bunch of milkshake ducks,
Oh! Sorry, am going to far at par with my personal issues, making it private, overwrought with my own problems, very hysterical unstablity-ty of my emotions, I apologize, like as if I do, I apologize. Fuck you!