my heart is so heavy. my friends told me not to message him anymore. but i wanted answers. answers as to why it just disappeared. the connection we had.
i’m messaging him now and here’s what i’ll say:
Hey. I know you already blocked me. But I just really want to say sorry.
Sorry for being so selfish. For being so eager. For not being sensitive enough.
I forgot what I really wanted to do when I downloaded Tinder and that was to just meet friends. I forgot about that and took advantage of the situation because I had never been in such a situation before.
I understand that you don’t want to talk to me anymore and I’m pissed at myself because I know it’s my fault.
But all I ask if for you to talk to me just once. I’m not asking for an apology because I’m the one at fault. Let me know why. I told you that I don’t want to leave Singapore with a heavy heart but here I am now: wondering if what I did to you had the same impact as what I did to myself when I was with you.
I’ve always had attachment issues and that probably turned you off. To be honest, I’m surprised you agreed to meet me in the first place. I had no confidence whatsoever in what had happened.
I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I don’t know if words could express how sorry I am.
I’m also sorry for myself. I went too far and now I’m vulnerable. Broken down. Naked.
You didn’t do anything. You’re a nice person for sure. I keep getting flashbacks thinking if we just had talked. Maybe it would’ve turned out differently.
This is my last plea. This is for me to stop hoping you’ll try and reach out to me.
Please talk to me. It’s not like we’re going to see each other again anyway. I just wanted my first experience not to be this bitter.
I like you but not enough to love you. Because I understood that the feeling wasn’t mutual.
I hope we could still be friends or better yet, acquaintances. Just not like this.
I promise you. Once I get an answer or any kind of response. I’ll do my best to move forward. I’ll not talk to you anymore and I’ll delete my WhatsApp.
Help me move on from this infatuation.