you know the feeling of getting unkown scratches randomly?
that’s what i get with you.
i risked everything to get you. not caring about how many cuts i had. i just wanted to be with you.
when you threw me away. discarded me like trash,
i realized, these cuts weren’t random.
i did this to myself.
for every time you ignore me,
for every time you message me a one liner,
for every time you smile telling me it’s okay,
for telling me we were soulmates.
i broke my walls. made myself vulnerable thinking someone will finally fix me.
i thought i was a coal in your hands, slowly turning me to diamonds.
i was just a toy and you were a 7 year old kid. doing everything you could to get me.
and once you’re done, throw me away when you find something new.
these cuts i willingly agreed to get weren’t deep.
but they sting. they burn when i touch them.
it will leave a mark when it heals.
do i yearn for you still? maybe.
but i don’t think i’ll have enough band aids to cover myself.
i dont want to hurt myself so i could love you.