You told me that we’re going to end this, I guess I was just waiting for you to say that.
Last night was a burst of emotions for me. Like I couldn’t bear waiting anymore. I grabbed the chance to break again when you texted me. It was stupid of me to do that, but for some reason it helped me more.
I called Jared and shared what happened. You know what he said?
“You’re making him your idol; his words of affirmation, the closure, his touch, the hope of him coming back. And God doesn’t want that.”
He made me realize that even if I don’t get your love, God’s there for me. He never left me. He’s always there waiting for me to come back.
I realized that his love is everywhere. Every morning when I wake up, the air I breathe, the blessings I have, and most of all,
the friends that care and love for me
I called another friend and told her that I love her. Thanking her for being there for me. For loving me and doing her best to listen to me.
I actually have a lot to thank for. I’ll spend the rest of the week I guess to just appreciate that. It’ll hurt that we ended it via text but if you’re willing to really see me last once, I will pray for you.
If not, I’ll accept and be grateful to have met you. I don’t want to end our friendship but if that’s what you want, I understand.
I started boxing today. I feel so empowered? I was flattered when my trainer told me that I learned fast. I guess that was just tension that built up. Also, the workout’s hard. I’m a dancer so I thought it’d be easy but damn that was intense.
I hope you received my text and think about whether you should see me or not. I really want to pray for you in person.
Last message via Messenger:
Mauro, I don’t know if you received my texts pero, just want to say, you don’t have to be sorry for befriending and getting close to me.
I prayed a lot last night, and it made me realize that God welcomes a person to our lives to help us learn something. And I’m so grateful to have met you. Like legit. You made me open my eyes that someone could care for me the way you did.
I talked to Roiette and she told me to message you here and that I was your first relationship with a guy. I did something shitty and didn’t see how hurt you were because of that.
But, hey. I totally understand that you want to end this. I guess we’re just two puzzle pieces that almost fit but doesn’t really add up together. And I’m totally cool with that. From the bottom of my heart. I’m sorry.
Let’s have a decent closure, Mauro. Allow me to pray for you personally. We’ll not talk about what happened, I promise.
I’m trying my best to move on and so should you.