I don’t know why I’m so ungrateful? My idol, literally the reason why I make music for messaged me today saying he wanted to work. I literally can’t get over it but I’m always perpetually sad and nothing even makes me happy anymore. I don’t know how I got like this but I honestly hate myself as much as I love myself. I don’t think a single person on this planet cares if I live or die. I haven’t made a positive impact in anyone’s life. I see the way people react to me and it’s all wrong because I’m so misunderstood. But I refuse to let anyone in anymore. The only person I want right now doesn’t want me, I mean maybe there’s a slight possibility but I don’t mean anything to her. I don’t mean anything to anyone. It’s depressing lol. Like what’s my purpose what’s my reason for being here? I don’t even know. Sometimes I just wanna give up. I don’t have anything or anyone. I’m just scared that if I die I’ll end up some place I wasn’t trying to go. IM USELESS. A big joke. Everytime I feel myself being happy again it just gets snatched away. So I guess I just shouldn’t have my hopes up. I just wish you didn’t have to leave. That we could be happy together. I want to tell you exactly how I feel . But I know you’ll say something I don’t wanna hear. And I’m too weak for that. So my heart just hurts. The only thing I can do is just think. About you. 1000 miles away. You’ll probably never wear my jacket. I’ll probably never see you again.