I've always liked to write. It's a skill I thought I'd surely hone in on and become better at. I got really good at writing interpretive essays on things I was assigned to read in college and really great at journaling to alleviate stress & heartache, and sometimes just to get my head straight. But as time went on I realized that writing wasn't my ticket to landing a career job. I got a job right out of college and felt lucky to have done so. Sure, the job wasn't what I dreamt or even what I wanted but it was a paycheck and a small step in the right direction. I've now been at that job for just under two years and I'm ready to scream. I feel like I'm suffocating and ultimately this job won't allow me to gain the work experience I really want or need to feel fulfilled. I've been wanting to go back to school, study International Communications or maybe something more practical like Public Administration. But I know where my heart is and it's in people, and changing the world for the better. I think somewhere along the way I got lost and told myself I had to fit into this mold of college-job-man in life, but when I made up my mind to take that path, I lost the ability to see the worth in taking risks and actually putting my true self out into the world. I've been applying for jobs like crazy and it's starting to feel a little hopeless. I'm turning into someone I don't recognize and am becoming the worst possible version of myself trying to live a cookie-cutter life. I had a tiny glimmer of possibility tonight in a vision only seen in my own thoughts, the looking glass is what I think it's called. Anyway, I'm ready for positive change. I stopped believing that I could and this is my testament to myself, a reminder that I can. And I fucking will.