ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS AN ELF!
Any chance you could arrange a date between me and an elf girl this Christmas?
I'm talking here about the elves in the "Lord of the Rings" movies, not the elves at your workshop at the North Pole. This is not to disparage the workshop elves -- I like them a lot! However, my heart is set on an LOTR elf. I'm particularly fond of the woodland elves such as Tauriel (image above) in the "Hobbit" films!
Santa, this is a great chance for you to redeem your credibility with me. I've been humbly requesting a Jeep Wrangler for Christmas for the past several years. And, well, you haven't delivered the goods.
I'm sure you have been busy and over-worked and that the oversight was a simple mistake. So just set me up on a date with a nice woodland elf, and you and I can call it even!
Thank you for your kind consideration.
P.S. I'm leaving a couple brewskies (picture below) for you on the table in case you need a little extra motivation to drop by my house this year!