What should I remember of this city ?
I don’t really know when this day begun, but I know when it ended.
I came on a thursday with some young women I found in blablacar.app, I think we laugh a lot.
And the sun always rise in the morning, it was time to go out trying to catch the soul of this city.
It was a long long long day, walking without aim, following my feet, looking at them when they make another step.
It was one month ago. Now it seems 3 years ago !
The sun was rising, it was really calm, the bus drove slowly, two old woman was talking about the difficult moment of our life, about the attacks in France, about the world they did not understand because it was so simple when they were young. One talked about the child of her daughter, about how much it is difficult to find a job, right now. And .. And I thought about my grandma who always talk with people like I was a hero ! But I am not, I know how it is difficult to live right now, to search for a job, or just to be happy !
I stopped at a bus stop because the building was beautiful (for me it was). after some hundred meters I saw a church on the mountains and I decided to go there.
On the front of the stair there was a pack of slim paper, it was funny that people came in front of a church to smoke weed.
I decided to go down and I take another stairs which smelled bad the smell of piss. That’s life, I like to think that it is in this type of area I discover some cool things.
After some part of my walk were erase by myself. I walked, I walked.
I never known why people look at me when I am writing alone in a café. Maybe they are thinking I am another one.
I never understood this young woman who was happy when I light her cigarette.
I never understood this woman who look at me when I said some true things about myself.
I never understood …
I met a galerist who said that I was really sensitive and I managed myself to not cry ! She known I am an artist and we talk about what I was doing, what I was thinking. It was cool ! Some people were really living here, and some other seems sad.
I talked to two men, one was liberated of jail recently, he shown me his electronic-bracelet, it was interesting to talk to them because they were from another daily-life. And the life goes on ! I have some other memories of this day ! I asked them to take a photograph, and one answer :
« fucking no ! We are in the police database »
The time I broke one of my finger, how much I hurt, how much I was tired.
I remembered the road trip in the night, I remembered what I thought in this car, I was sleeping under my jacket and it was cold in :
« it is cold, if my driver crash his car, I can’t save us because it is too cold in the car, then it is better to continue sleeping ».
We came home at 4 or 5 am. This was the end of this day.
I don’t know why I am actually thinking about death, but it seems incredible I did not die this week end… Because I broke my finger, I jump down a bus stop because of the police patrol, I was insulted by some drunken young people, and I answered them with same words. It was strange !
Sometimes we can chose to see God or we can chose to see that a lot of people call « luck » or « coincidence », I don’t believe in coincidence, I don’t believe in luck, I believe in God. Einstein said that :
« coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous ».
And when I read this quote, all my life seems less stupid. It was not a coincidence I talk to these men which just went out of jail. I was not stupid to talk to them like a lot of people supposed I was. No matter what we ask, I think that God always answer !