A bad sign
I know it's gonna be a bad day; I took forever to fall asleep, I was thinking too much, remembering, waiting to dream.
I kept remembering things from when I was a kid; stupid things like a toy rolling under the bed, forever lost, harder things like my grandmother, who is dead, arguing with my father, who is also dead.
As a kid, I remember wanting everything I saw; as an adult everything I see only serves to remind me of everything I don't have.
When I dream, it's always about the life I don't have; the things I don't do, the people I'm not with, the person I can't be.
Then I wake up.
I feel like I should take it as a bad sign, not that I awoke, but that I dreamed at all, because that's when you know; you know it's gonna be a bad day when you lose something you never had.
@ellopoetry @ellopoems @ellowrites
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