Please help! I need some advice!
Okay, so I live with my grandma for the summer while I'm back from school. First semester I picked up smoking cigarettes and weed. I still smoke, but am worried my grandma is catching on. I feel like I constantly smell like cigarettes. She hasn't said a word to me, but has found two lighters of mine in the house. She acted very oblivious about them, according to my brother. She never mentioned them to me.
Tonight I went outside to smoke and due to the fact that I live in an extremely small house, (Pretty much only ideal for a couple living together.) she woke up when I came back inside. When I finally slipped into my bed she came into the kitchen. This was extremely unfortunate because my bedroom is the dining room. I looked at her silhouette in the dark room and she grabbed something off of the counter and went to the bathroom. The last time this same event happened she had a minor heart attack. When she had her heart attack she was violently puking and moaning in pain. This time she is just sitting in her bed, and I can hear pills rattling. I'm quite scared and don't know if I should get up and see if she's okay or stay in bed. I'm not sure if I should bring up the fact that I smoke or not. Should I wait for her to say something? How would I even respond to that, lie or tell the truth? She would ask me why I would smoke in the first place, and I honestly don't know the answer. I guess it's because everyone does. Ugh I hate having these internal conflicts because they are eating me alive. I can hardly breathe.
I guess the only solution is to stop smoking, (which is the plan starting July 1st) but I'm just nervous about the conversation. I hate conflict. I just do these things because I can and because I want to, there's honestly no other reason. Ugh, please any advice will do.